AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

:(

anyway i think if i told myself 8 years ago id still be 0% progress through transitioning i wouldnt be here today

mmmmmmm i love executive dysfunction its so great

oh hey look its that holiday where im sad

life kinda sucks

:(

positive post since im somewhat okay today

god i love walking in heels it feels sooooo gender. even if i am limited to just my room

god i hate laundry

2 new pillows (kinda wanted four but whatever) and this weighted blanket. bed is way too comfy. even less incentive to get out of bed now. oops

some nights im so alone it physically hurts

Ive been depressed so long I miss feeling sad. I just feel empty.

h

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

girls pretty

i chose the wrong occupation.

waking up and hearing someone's heartbeat. goals.

Being alone sucks

i yearn to be cuddled

or hugged

or any physical contact really

hold my hand?

bweh

theres so many people around me with real issues and i cant get out of my own fucking head. i am just tormented by myself. and i cant fucking do anything about it

i cant even fucking cry. im so fucking used to this. it hurts

im fine. i always have been right. ill get over it or something. idk. not thinking usually does the trick. not that can i live my life not thinking all the time as much as i try.

its like all i do is fucking complain. nothing else comes out of me. i dont have shit to be happy about. i cant get myself to do anyhting about it either. ill proabbly never fuckign transition because im too much of a dysfunctional bitch to do anything! might as well end it. whatever

when do i get to be happy

when does waking up stop being paired with anxiety attacks

my life fucking sucks

:(

i love being mentally ill its so EPIC

ughhhhhhhhhhh

that was one of the worst hour long depressive episodes ever that was cool