Best Years Of Area Man's Life Apparently Never Going To Happen

Best Years Of Area Man's Life Apparently Never Going To Happen theonion.com/best-years-of-area-mans-...

mom can you pick me up at the strait of hormuz, my friends are laughing at me and wont help

It’s just the makin’ copies sketch for 50min

Surprises? You gonna pull out your dick?

I’d take it over “may the 4th be wif you”

Dad Has Some Choice Words About Hotel Bathroom’s Caulking

Dad Has Some Choice Words About Hotel Bathroom’s Caulking
theonion.com/dad-has...

A drawing of a crow in a dress stirring a pot. Caption: I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Happy Saturday!

Not so giddy today, are ya, Space Dork?

“Boom goes the dynamite.”

20-years ago today.

19 year old Ball State University journalism student Brian Collins filling in for the regular campus sportscaster — when the teleprompter suddenly stops working (2005)…

I can get 70 miles a gallon on this hog

Tastes like conditioner but worth it

It’s illegal for you not to!

What’s going on with creuset??

Reddit catching strays

Take notes America

How I feel as a reply guy

When your high school bully is running the Oscars graphics department

I hate them both, equally

Okay let’s compromise and call it Gulf of Amexico #gulfofmexico

Giving real “it’s your birthday.” Vibes

How To Spice Up Your Relationship With Your Cat YouTube video by The Onion

How To Spice Up Your Relationship With Your Cat

He’s hot in a Steve Buscemi way

looking at pictures of turds, frowning, shaking my head "thats a bad one... mine would never look that bad"

The holidays are just a competition to see which sibling can introduce Dad to Nate Bargatze first. #NateBargatze

They are targeting there biggest clients- conservative married men

Off to a great start

Takes some of the joy out of it

He said he’d be back