So they're free to catch the flu but not hepatitis? I'm confused. Just how free are they?

Waymos don't understand that sometimes the left turn light is too short and actually we have to run that light or the whole city will collapse

Another day in our scam economy

Lost is still the greatest tv show and a lot of that has to do with making full seasons with weekly releases. For years I was never more than six weeks away from more Lost.

The grass clippings didn't make it out of the compost bin and into the truck. And then it rained on top of them all day. It smelled like I'm brewing Bermuda grass wine in there

Three years ago my boss misread the times on our flight. We left his house 30 minutes before departure. Not only did we make the flight, we still had to wait around at the gate to board. This broke my brain and I won't recover until I miss a flight.

Ah yet another CEO saying AI will replace jobs but without a single example of what jobs exactly will be replaced. Just a vague "oooh watch out, I might lay you off!"

As a guy who started dealing with these types of injuries in his 20s, here's my advice:

Go buy a big clay ice pack and every night fall asleep with that thing on whatever body part you think has the best chance of hurting in the morning.

I have a bad feeling that I'm going to end up having to root for the Celtics again this year

A photo of SGA with his headband that's wider than any headband I've ever seen. It looks more like a weird compression sleeve

I mean, just look at it. What's he hiding under there?

I think I'm the only person brave enough to say this, but the real reason SGA is annoying is because his headband is too big

I recently read that the skid steer was not invented until the '80s. I've told multiple people that since I heard it.

Just now found out it's not true at all. My reputation is ruined

Hey now. Don't forget to stuff them into a locker afterwards.

If a wind turbine blade could reach the ground and I was standing in front of it, would it slice me in half or would it launch me?

These are the questions old flash games aimed to answer.

Every place in Austin has racerunners darting all over the place. Every place except for my yard. I love all the spiny lizards and anoles, but what's a guy got to do to get the third local lizard to move in?

i can find pretty much any small Device interesting except for watches. no idea why but that's the one expensive consumer commodity i'm totally immune to. cool chronograph or whatever but it does the same job as a ninja turtles casio to me

I love Frog and Toad but also I really hate the story where everyone laughs at Toad's swimsuit

Dick Tips was absolutely on the list of name options for what ended up being Saul Goodman

I'm sure we're all in agreement here, but even if the picture was of him as a doctor it would still be insulting to millions or billions of people

Shout-out to the parent today who somehow took forever to get their kid out of a golf cart. You removed every physical obstacle to getting out of the car and yet still held up drop-off the line. A true master of chaos.

Maybe it's because I just read a book that talks about King Henry and Thomas Beckett.....but I think the Pope should get to flog our president

Strip away any discussion of identity or political leaning and we are all people who just live in a sea of scams. And that's before we get into how many useless layers of rent seeking "legitimate" businesses exist here.

I think this is the best way to concisely describe the issues in America. We are inundated with scammers and we just let it slide. Can't pick up the phone, can't answer the door, can't drive down the road, can't open email, and can't shop in a store without being accosted by scammers and salesmen.

The two year old is at the peak of the "talking a lot while also saying every word extremely incorrectly" phase of life. I love it. It's the closest I'll get to talking to R2D2.

They're kind of like bikes except they're slow as hell, take up a ton of space, and don't teach the kids anything.

Power wheels are dumb toys

I did it again. I ate too much jelly bean.

The Pillars of the Earth was good and probably the fastest I've read a book of that length.

I mean, duh? Anybody expecting to punish those who are wrecking the country has to be prepared to work around pardons or take us to a place where we are just ignoring them and enacting lasting punishment before a reaction can be mounted.

Sorry but I've just discovered the travesty that is the list of state birds. Most states seem to have chosen generic birds that are all over the country? Seemingly only Louisiana understood what to do and chose the pelican. Florida's bird is not the flamingo!?!!