Lead us not away from temptation;
but deliver us to evil.
For thine is the spray tan,
the dour and the hoary,
Until the midterms.
Amen.

The Fraud's Prayer:
Our Father, who art in the White House,
hallowed be thy combover;
thy blingdom come;
thy will be dumb;
In Washington as you are in Florida.
Give us this day our daily round of golf.
And forgive us our insider trading,
as we refuse to forgive those who investigate against us...

Turns out dragons were welcome

Looks tasty

There's a free family festival on Trafalgar Square today to celebrate the patron saint of England: St George. All are welcome, except dragons.

Keir Starmer should go immediately...

...to the shops to buy me some cat treats.

John 3:16 "Aw, man. I just shot Marvin in the face"

I have some concerns with the choice of picture for this story from BBC News

Donald Trump is the only person in the world who doesn't realise that the expression "Is the Pope Catholic?" is a joke

"What did you do, screw up like the Beatles and say you were bigger than Jesus?"
Trump: "All the time - it was the campaign slogan for my second term"

Thank you - have shared x

Fancy copying me and strolling around the 10 Downing Street garden? Enter the ballot for a free tour here:
londongardenstrust.org/whatson/lond...

Apologies, napping x

Trump is stretching the US navy to its limit; first it has to blockade the Strait of Hormuz and now it has to capture the Holy See...

Exodus 20:

3 You shall have no other gods before me

4 You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath

23 Do not make any gods to be alongside me; do not make for yourselves gods of silver or gods of gold

Trump 2026:

Is JD Vance an Arsenal fan?

Trump's plan for defeating a person strangling him: placing his hands round his own throat and squeezing.

To my friends in Hungary:
A világ veled áll, miközben visszaszerzed, ami a tiéd

Garble Arch

We've reached the point that they're using the Epstein files to cover up Iran

The ending of Burn After Reading came into my head this morning. Sums things up well.
(profanity warning, though nothing you haven't heard from Trump)

TACO Tuesday

I don't suppose he clarified which one?

The chicks realised too late that the cat skin rug wasn't, in fact, a rug

Anyone who demonstrates daily contempt for their neighbours will have to justify that to God when the time comes; I wouldn't want to be in their shoes when it does.

1. Love God
2. Love thy neighbour as thyself

Anyone who publicly expresses their love for God while failing to demonstrate their love for their neighbours is choosing to ignore what Christ taught them.

I want to wish all my friends around the world who are celebrating Easter a glorious weekend.

For Christians, Easter is a time to reflect on the gift of Christ and his teachings to our world. For example, when asked which was the most important of the commandments, Jesus pointed to two:

The world is about to witness the biggest tantrum in history

Update from the land of the free: