Dream I’m on scrubland and am charged by both a coffee-coloured bull and a graffiti-covered rhino. I head for a clump of trees (is that a good strategy if charged by a bull and/or rhinoceros?)

I also make a dream joke (with a degree of innuendo). Caroline opens double doors and under an organ keyboard and I say “Yes. That’s where I keep my pipes too”

Dream I let myself in the night into the office of the International Glaciological Society (the front door is unlocked) and gather several sets of only semi-functional bike lights I left in a drawer there over 10 years ago. Realise an alarm is ringing and this is probably burglary

In dream#2 I’m leaving my two young boys in the car while I go off to play squash. As I close the car door on them, my youngest says “But Dad, I’m hungry” and I erupt into tears of shame.

Something terrible has happened (involving perhaps a hedge trimmer) to the gardener. He could still be alive and yet I dare not to go nearer. Scared scared scared

Two separate vivid and emotional dreams last night. In dream#1 we return home to find blood all over the fence. Baffled for a while but later we see legs from a prostrate body poking out from behind the shed. A heart-pounding nightmare feeling means I am way too scared to investigate.

Dream I’m repairing unsuccessfully a ping pong bat using clingfilm and parcel tape

Dreamed about Captain Pugwash

Dream my friend Tim in his mobility scooter is lifted by the wind up and off the bridge and into the sea. I watch and hope he can get his seatbelt off to avoid sinking with his craft and drowning. I watch him beneath the surface trying and failing to free himself, then sink.

Dreamed I was playing football on a playing field with a tennis ball and wearing school shoes and trousers. Pretty realistic though I haven’t actually done this in maybe 45 years

I was writing dialogue in my dream last night and I felt it to be excellent, the final 3 lines of my play particularly. Of course I couldn’t remember it on waking besides the very last line which remains (even in the real world) pretty good. A character called Patrick says “Amen”

A fairly realistic dream in which I saw from my bedroom window a fighter jet and then two rusty iron missiles all heading in the same direction (left to right so, on reflection, that’s West). I woke up wondering where they were headed and if I’d hear about it later on the News

(I know there are a lot of arrogant assumptions in that dream … but that’s the current state of my subconscious… what can you do?)

Dream Damon Albarn wants me to sing on his new song, a sequel to Blur’s earlier hit, Tender. There’s a team of songwriters working on it in a shed and they are also in charge of invoicing (ie paying me). I start to worry that if this song’s a big hit, I may be obliged to go on tour with Gorrilaz

I had my first dream about Campus (which is an academic journal article tracking system). It was quite a dull dream actually

One that is definitely pre-string theory

Dream i’m washing up the dishes but in a sink that has four plugholes!

It occurred to me during a Zoom call today that these days I look like John Nott in 1982 when he walked out of the tv studio after Robin Day called him a “here today, gone tomorrow politician”. It’s a good look!

substack.com/@craigbaxter... Henry V part V (on stage directions)

I just read a whole chapter of a James Bond novel and it was just him talking to a young woman and she was telling him about her tough childhood and stuff. It was nice

Hard frost makes it an excellent day for collecting (nicely frozen) cat turds from the lawn. Same hard frost makes it a less excellent day for burying them

I am the fattest, oldest, weakest, slowest, ugliest man in the gym. But also the best

Dream/subconscious me has a sense of humour I hope you’ll agree: Dreamed I was controlling a drone helicopter in a corridor and got it to grip my cheek. Next I made a dramatic entry into a party and asked the gathered throng: “Do I have something on my face?” Hilarious!

Dream I’m staying with a delightful German family but the passcode for their WiFi is so impossibly long that I feel my life is slipping away from me and I have to leave

Dreamed my friend Steve dropped by to say goodbye (he’s going away) and show us the new dapper sleeveless coat he’d bought for £1 but I was quickly aware he wanted to spend a more lingering goodbye with our mutual friend Clare and that I should leave them to it

Dream we are drinking our own urine in bed and it tastes of “mortgages”

Is it insulting or a misogynistic micro-aggression to, as a chap, thank a lady for being a “gentleman” for holding a door open for you? I just did this and am now steeped in a vague feeling of shame and regret.

Yep me too

quesque c'est?

Dream I’m retrieving a retiring police officer’s bicycle from Cambridge railway station lost property 30 years after he left it there (after passing his probation and qualifying for a police car). We roll back the tarpaulin but there’s no bike. Only a broken, stringless bass guitar