I can’t wait for the sequel to Melania - Melania 2: Even More Melania.

Hear me out: tiny jenga.

U.S. Flights are being canceled. Thanks a lot Obama! #airlines #obama #faa #governmentshutdown #trump

I feel bad for oher people named Stephen Miller.

The only kind of bunny some people find acceptable for the Superbowl halftime show is: energeizer, Easter, outdoor, and possibly playboy.

Be nice if we had less of a government shut down and more of a government shut up. Just a thought.

I hope Kimmel’s show tonight is sponsored by Tylenol.

They’re saying Tylenol causes autism, but the real question is - does autism cause Tylenol? Think about THAT!

Just ran into and met comedian Bert Kreischer at the airport. He’s playing a stadium in Eugene, Oregon for thousands of screaming fans and I’m playing a hotel banquet room in Petosky, Michigan for retirees that have no idea who I am. Someday you’ll make it, Bert.

It’s too bad that Trump is such a manbaby, because that’s the term I used to describe myself with. Guess I’ll have to go with SUPERmanbaby-manDavey. And that’s MISTER supermanbaby-manDavey to you!

Really fun sold out show in Duluth tonight. Thanks to Linda Aarons for filling in last minute in the feature spot, Mike Marvell for the booking, the always wonderful staff, and some friends/fans that showed up. I will be back! Even if they let me.

Ok, I’m DONE arguing on the internet today. Time to go argue in real life. Cause the internet isn’t real right!? Don’t answer - I said I’m DONE arguing. :)

I can’t believe it - I didn’t see one Tesla in Trump’s parade yesterday. Just kidding, I didn’t watch it. But I know.

I forgot about this app for a minute. Anyway, good times. Hello again for another 40 minutes.

I haven’t seen hardly any of the Oscar movies but I hope they all win best picture.

This is my first post. What of it?