You know how your scout troop had a Nazi flag locked away in a drawer? That’s exactly how the Unilever archivist feels when someone asks “and what’s in this cabinet?”

“I AM DISPLEASED”

A tuxedo cat sitting on a desk next to a computer

“Is height adjustable?”

“Iz important to air out da floofentail”

A Ukrainian gunner giving the finger to a Russian drone he’s just shot down

Strong “Absolute Lad” energy here

I will never cease to admire Ukraine’s commitment to a strategy of:
1 - will it work?
2 -is it funny?

Slava Ukraini!

a woman standing on a balcony holding a piece of paper and saying i have the receipts ALT: a woman standing on a balcony holding a piece of paper and saying i have the receipts

Olly Robbins:

“Iz ma bloo steel look”

“Ma floofs are vibrating with outrage”

Having recently read John Julius Norwich’s “The Popes” for much of history holiness seems to have been very much an optional extra when it came to selecting a Pontiff

two priests standing next to each other with the words that would be an ecumenical matter above them ALT: two priests standing next to each other with the words that would be an ecumenical matter above them

Between this, picking a fight with the papacy, and the Iranian President sending his best regards to the Pope it’s been a great day for this gif

Either do Russia or Kent next pls…

“Father”

“An ungovernable”

OK, what’s going on in Nuneaton and should we be concerned?

bsky.app/profile/oddt...

“I counted them all out and I counted them all back when they couldn’t get out”

I would very worried about what I’d find mummified and buried in the garden…

He has stared into the void and has seen things he can never unsee

Elmo has seen some shit

Sun Tzu (looking at a map of Iran, taking note of the mountains, deserts etc): sucks air through his teeth and declares “I’d leave that alone mate”

It’s from Moondust by Andrew Smith, a fantastic read

It's mostly children who worry about toilet procedures in flight, but not exclusively so. According to the Lindbergh biographer A. Scott Berg, the first question King George V asked after that solo transatlantic flight in 1927 was "How did you pee?" (The answer involved sympathy for the Frenchmen who'd hoisted him onto their shoulders after thirty-three hours in the air.) Naturally, the astronauts had more sophisticated systems - we know that they made use of condoms which channelled their urine into receptacles on the early flights. The trouble was that

if anything leaked, you ended up with little bobbling globules of piss reeking around your ears. This happened to Gordon Cooper on his Mercury flight and all he could do was herd them together every so often, so that he knew where they were. The rubbers on Apollo had the same problems, but were connected through a hose and valve directly to space. Not only was it easy to catch yourself in the mechanism, but opening the valve brought the hungry tug of absolute vacuum and at this point, you understood that you were connected directly to the void, uniquely, as no human had ever been before, via your penis. This thought alone was enough to shrivel the steeliest resolve, leading to leakage and yet more piss reeking around the cabin, an additional hazard for which your fellow space lords would not thank you. There were compensations, mind: one of the best Gemini stories concerns Wally Schirra's beautiful photo of a "urine dump" at dawn, where the liquid ejected from the craft instantly atomizes and crystallizes, simulating a firework display in the sunlight. Legend holds that a NASA astronomer found it among pic- tures of stars. "Wally, what constellation is this?" he asked excitedly. "Jocelyn," came the deadpan reply, "that's the constellation Urion." But that was all pissing in the wind. Defecation was the real deal. To do this on Apollo, you had to climb to the lower right side of the craft while your crewmates moved as far away from you as they possibly could - which anyone who's seen one of the capsules will appreciate wasn't far. There, you got completely naked, removing rings, watches, everything, because you couldn't be sure what was going to happen next; then you positioned a special plastic bag as best you could, and went, hoping that everything went in it. Remember that you're floating; the

bag is floating; your shit is floating. Charlie says: "Anything you can imagine happening... happened." Thus there is the tale of a stool that went freelance on one flight, causing a panic that must have been something like the famous scene from Caddyshack where someone accidentally drops a chocolate bar in a holiday camp swimming pool. So unspeakable was the hour-long process of dumping and getting cleaned up afterwards that I heard rumours of one astronaut dosing himself with Imodium, which enabled him to hold it in for eight whole days. I'd rather suspected this to have been Alan ("anal" spelled sideways) Bean, but gossip finally suggested another candidate. Anders was standing in line at an airport check-in desk when I called him on his mobile phone. He came clean straight-away. "Haha - yeah," he hollered above the background noise. "I set the world's longest distance no-bowel-movement record... three-quarters of a million miles! Everything was looking a little brownish to me when I got home..." He went on to point out that you can verify this by watching the way he waddles across the carrier deck in the post-splash-down footage. Later, I notice the curious fact that when his crew addressed Congress shortly afterwards, he was the only person in the building wearing a brown suit, leading me to wonder whether his space "brown-out" left a permanent mark on his psyche. As Charlie says: "We had a lot of laughs with the old waste-management system."

It’s a big improvement on Apollo - was such a palaver that one of the astronauts avoided the issue by taking Imodium for the duration

“Art of the deal, innit guv” - the inexplicably cockney tollbooth operator

At least you can Wander Above the Sea of Floof when you get home

“Chaotic woe!”

Alexander Montagu, 13th Duke of Manchester - Wikipedia

The Duke of Manchester would disagree!
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexand...

Maybe he’s the “cash poor, tiara rich” type of earl?

The woodpecker is not a thoughtful neighbour

I hope Ozzy has battened down the floof