This Weeks Onion Magazine: ‘I Don’t Know How And It’s Not My Event’: Simone Biles On Her Decision Not To Snowboard At The Winter Olympics

This Weeks Onion Magazine: ‘I Don’t Know How And It’s Not My Event’: Simone Biles On Her Decision Not To Snowboard At The Winter Olympics

And then there's Chicago.

Here's the New York Marathon. Got some chop, but not too bad. It's New York City after all.

Ever seen the Chicago marathon verticality chart compared to any other location's marathon? It's hilarious.

👑🙅‍♀️🤝👨‍🌾💕

Probably should have quote reposted, but the last "fly" (I have no idea what to call posts now) is from The Onion. It's a farcical joke.

Thank you, now enjoy your day.

CBS NEWS NEWS THE WHITE HOUSE CAN TRUST.

This is not a paid advertisement. Subscribe at membership.theonion.com to receive the newspaper and see more print-exclusive content.

A surprise donation during the Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 race from some folks who know the game ... well, they know it just as well as @bdud5.bsky.social and Z3R01337 do.

#AGDQ2026

Bdud, ZERO and their couch, all dressed as Expedition 33 characters

AGDQ audience members, dressed as Expedition 33 characters. Some are in full costume and others are wearing signature red berets.

AGDQ audience members, dressed as Expedition 33 characters. Some are in full costume and others are wearing signature red berets.

The red berets were out in full force for @bdud5.bsky.social and Z3R01337's Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 race, plus the bonus Parry Only Simon fight that your donations helped make happen! #AGDQ2026

You ever wake up to the extrajudicial kidnapping of the president of Venezuela? Well boy do I have a doozy for you.

I'm going to ask a question that will probably be terrible for my free time, but

How "easy" is it to learn the savage fights for this expansion?

BRUH ME TOO

That's it, this year is dedicated to saying "fuck the fates I do what I want"

WHO'S WITH ME

A humorous map of the United Stated color coded to the 3 regional terms for carbonated beverage where the south east and north west call it soda, the north west calls it’s pop and that the south east calls it Coke. Alaska is divided between Soda and Pop Hawaii is Soda. For humorous twists however they are labeled K-pop demon hunters K-soda demon hunters K-Coke demon hunters. This is.a reference to K-pop demon hunteds movie where K-pop means Korean Pop Music.

Alt text added 💛

Truly.

Known this feeling for too long. Sending good vibes. 💜💜

The full spiked 60 Minutes CECOT package, clean & subtitled. 1/5

Sending hugs and love friend! 🫂

I've been there before. It's not fun nor is it easy. Persist persist persist. You got this.

They paid for a font license and dammit they'll use that entire font license.

Make this t shirt

Nonononononono

Chaos. Fucking. Chaos.

There's a lot of abstract talk about nazis right now and I just want to bring it back to concrete reality for a second:

Those motherfuckers tried to murder MY GRANDPARENTS.

JD Vance when people makes jokes about Charlie Kirk: "call their employer."

JD Vance when Republican staffers say "I love Hitler" and fantasize about throwing political opponents in gas chambers: "that's what kids do...we're not canceling kids because they did something stupid."

promotional image for a “Live with John Green” event: photos of Daniel Biss, candidate for Illinois ninth congressional district and John Green, best selling author and co-creator of the vlogbrothers. Join us live on Thursday, September 4 at 12 PM CT. Subscribe and watch at danielbiss.substack.com.

I can’t wait to catch up with my friend and nerdfighteria’s resident mathematician @danielbiss.bsky.social!

We’ll talk tuberculosis, his run for Congress, and maybe how his run for Congress could help us fight tuberculosis. Join us on 9/4 at 12pm CT.

This is my hole! It was made for me! manga meme but with Wile E. Coyote. Credit to @king_of_limb.

It was my absolute pleasure! Thank *you* so much for being awesome and crushing the run! 😁

Starting TONIGHT, we are introducing Quest for Quet, a mutual aid speedrunning marathon benefitting @traineranade.bsky.social so that they can afford to train and raise their new service animal, Quetzalcoatl!

Come join at Anade’s channel and help support and donate if you can!

Schedule in replies!

2025 in a nutshell…

This is a rather amusing prize presentation segment. Too bad color television doesn't exist to really show them off. #agdq2025 #literallylmao

#agdq2025 adef's expression of hope and then utter despair during this Fallout New Vegas dating game when he gets the answer wrong is all of us when a run goes off the rails.