They'll settle for a heil Hitler..
Hegseth probably has a 88 tattoo somewhere..

can't wait for the next pentagon prayer service where hegseth recites the Boondock Saints prayer

Hi, bluesky! I've got 4 icehouse ege 24 oz beers and a pack of pall malls
So, I don't care what you think, especially the maga douchebags and Twitter assholes on here
Thanks and good night

Who thought to call it hay on a farm for equines to eat rather than horse d'oeuvres?

😂 used a lot of hummus to choke it down

🌹🌹🌹

How about
Nun thing happening?

WIFE: You're very quiet. What are you thinking?

ME: They should make a non alcoholic version of Blue Nun wine and call it Blue None.

HER: Sometimes it's ok to say 'nothing'

I believe it's from smoking a natural plant? Plus, they were chatting with a talking dog and weren't freaking out 😂. They had good shit

I don't want Scooby Snacks. I do however want what makes you want Scooby Snacks.

HBD

I ate a celery stalk in 1989..
I believe I've filled my quota for celery, for life...🤢🤷‍♂️

Sometimes..

Pam bondi ignoring Epstein survivors

may this define her for the rest of her life.

she was willing to stoop this low and still got fired.

girl, bye.

Told a coworker nobody liked him anyway after he announced to everyone he's leaving the company, but it turned out to be an April fools joke . . . awwkwaard.

Do you have barf bags?🤣🤢

it’s my ex-husband’s birthday today so I’ve hired Pam Bondi to jump out of a cake

The crushing disappointment of a hollow chocolate bunny in your basket

😜

Love means ignoring there typo

Desire should never be tempered. Ever. Live it out loud, with passion.

A few posts recently getting more than usual likes, 80-85% from non mutuals. While I like the engagement I can't help but wonder what kind of algorithm fuckery is afoot.

I'm invisible on here now. Just like Twitter 🙄

Contrary to what some of you may think, doing laundry is not loads of fun.

Her: Um... My eyes are up here...

Me(looking at the pizza box she's holding) What!?!?🍕💕

Me: it was Colonel Mustard, in the library, with the candelabra!

Gf: we're playing Monopoly, you idiot!!!

*seductively removes her panties...

Her: Why were you wearing my panties?

Dictator, heavy on the Dick

Getting drunk and passing out on the kitchen floor, using a pizza box as a pillow: $30

Waking up hungover and finding pizza in that box: Priceless!