me pointing out that your football tweet is factually inaccurate

I hate to be all Andy Murray about this on such a glorious evening, but there is the small matter of 2019...

XX XD s as

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"We'd better score some goals or Graeme Cowie will be insufferable."

Every additional detail just makes this story even worse, doesn't it? It's almost impressive in its own way.

BY LAW

And you couldn't have kept this very upsetting information to yourself???

Yes, yes I will

This resonated so profoundly that I sent it to my partner before I had even finished reading it myself

WOKE UP ON SUNDAY: ✅

IT'S EARLY IN THE MORNING: like you wouldn't believe

I mean, since they've gone to all that trouble

the very definition of "it'd be rude not to"

I mean, in fairness...

Any chance the Capital Cup bears a striking resemblance to the FA Cup? Asking for a friend who's run out of foil

And here I was thinking that this kind of nonsense was confined to the women's game.

This is how I finally learned to play a kazoo.

*plays a mournful air on the kazoo*

Georgie.

Sometimes the shouting is the treat! But I'd be surprised if this is one of those times...

Saving this for a treat at the weekend!

moar trevor pls

noooo emotional support tabs

wow such wasteful expenditure