Quantum Leopard podcast w/ Declan Kennedy is out now!
quantumleopard.podbean.com/e/episode-41...
A lovely chat about joke construction, Blake's 7 and the glory of Manchester. Enjoy!

In Korean, the word for cowboys, 속기 쉬운, translates literally to “American horse pirates”

* read on for more of my all-time favourite translations from around the world (a thread)…

A complete TTRPG called PIG AT A WEDDING. You can download a text-only version of it here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/pig-at-wedding-153576626

PIG AT A WEDDING is a one-page TTRPG where you must sneak a pig into a wedding and release it at the most traumatic possible moment.

PDF, text-only version, and a largely unrelated dev diary here: www.patreon.com/posts/pig-at...

I hate it when I'm in an argument about new distillation devices and inevitably come up with the perfect retort a couple of days later

Tickets out for April show w/ Jordan Gray, Richard Todd, Alice India, Alex Prescot, meeee MCing and a bunch of lovely fives. This one WILL SELL OUT because it's JORDAN GRAY HEADLINING. Twenty tickets left at time of writing so if you're keen then HOP ON IT!

www.ticketsource.com/quantum-leop...

Oh nooooo! Next time perhaps! It was a very good one I'm sorry

I failed the introvert test. Come and see me on tour to hear jokes from a man who longer dresses like Shrek.

mickperrin.com/tours/alasdair-beckett-king-king-of-crumbs

Quite so. And then they get the opportunity to drink themselves down to our level

First answer: violence

Real answer: we go by number of tickets being part of a single booking

JUST 14 tickets left for the birthday show next Saturday!
It's Saturday 21st March w/ THE CREATIVE MARTYRS, Sooz Kempner, Dru Cripps, Andy Barr & a lovely bunch of fives. Remember whoever brings the most people wins a free bottle of wine!
www.ticketsource.co.uk/quantum-leop...

If you're doing a costume for World Book Day surely the only choice is Atlas

The media is trying to make me feel sorry for the kind of British people who visit Dubai by choice

Hey gurrrrrl are you a western military intervention in the Middle East because you also seem like an incredibly bad, permanently damaging idea that reminds me of my early twenties

40th episode of the Quantum Leopard podcast w/ Kate Cheka is now out! A great conversation about the class war, getting railed in a chapel, and why 40 year old cis men are the Oxbridge of dating. Enjoy!
quantumleopard.podbean.com/e/episode-40...

TWO MINUTE FAVOUR! PLEASE vote for Quantum Leopard in the Chortle Awards, "Best live comedy format" - that's the one we won the last three years.
The link is here. Thanks loads in advance!
www.chortle.co.uk/news/2026/02...

White I think?

Hey everyone, tickets now on general release for our 11TH BIRTHDAY SHOW W/ THE CREATIVE MARTYRS, Sooz Kempner, Dru Cripps, Andy Barr and some lovely fives! Saturday 21/03/26:
www.ticketsource.co.uk/quantum-leop...

On train last night. An old woman was playing far right tiktok out loud on her phone. I politely warned her that her headphones appeared to have stopped working. She then mercifully stopped. Your mileage may vary. She's entitled to her own white noise, but not everyone else's.

Why do they call it a lamb and not a minibaa?

Okay, this is quite outstanding from Bedford Council.

Did Comedy Club 4 Kids today with 20 mins of Guess Who which was an absolute delight. I closed my set with a one Vs ten thumb war because I genuinely couldn't tell that some smaller children were standing up

Hello lovers and fighters. QUANTUM LEOPARD IS NEXT SAT and has @robinince.bsky.social @rachcreeger.bsky.social Caitriona Dowden & Fred Barber. Just 10 tickets left at time of writing, which is some, but not loads and loads, so hop on it if you're keen: www.ticketsource.co.uk/quantum-leop...

you're not the first person to say that to me today and you won't be the last

Aren't all tattoos temporary tattoos if you acknowledge your own mortality?

People assume Scooby Doo is male but they actually go by rhey/rhem

Hello lovers and fighters. QUANTUM LEOPARD IS NEXT SAT and has @robinince.bsky.social @rachcreeger.bsky.social Caitriona Dowden & Fred Barber. Just 10 tickets left at time of writing, which is some, but not loads and loads, so hop on it if you're keen: www.ticketsource.co.uk/quantum-leop...

Chester Storyhouse, Garret Theatre Wednesday 18 February | 2pm | 01244 409 113 | storyhouse.com Members: £12.15 (£10.35 u16s) | Non-members: £13.50 (£11.50 u16s)

Chester! Join us at @storyhouselive.bsky.social on Wednesday 18th for #halfterm giggles with @runitalwar.bsky.social, @jamesrosscomedy.bsky.social and Danny Pensive! Comedy! Games! Light ridiculousness!

🎟️ www.storyhouse.com/whats-on/com...

Coooo! Tonight at XS, it's the return of delightful pigeon-fancier Toussaint Douglass! Not only that, but also @androjonny.bsky.social, @jamesrosscomedy.bsky.social, sketch duo The Mayor and His Daughter, and our own fancy pigeon @tobyhadoke.bsky.social www.wegottickets.com/xsmalarkey

Reminds me I came up with this solution to the problems of the new economic model in the arts back on Twitter

The latest episode of the Quantum Leopard podcast with ALEX FRANKLIN is out now if you fancy it, really interesting set and chat about trans identity and zoology: quantumleopard.podbean.com/e/episode-39...