Poor Ricardo Villa
Where had his Ossie gone?
Poor Ricardo Villa
He didn't stay for long

Osvaldo Ardiles
Signed for the Spurs from a team in the Argentine
It all went fine

Then came the Falklands
They loaned him out for a bit to Paris St Germain
Farewell Tottingham

Liam Rosenior
P45 when he’s barely sat down in the chair.
Life isn’t fair.
LinkedIn demeanour.
Losing five on the bounce and now he’s thrown out
Without care….

Who else used to shop for BLIRER at Maars a Spekles in the midst of a potential head-on collision?

Two seagulls walking. One’s beak is stuck through a slice of bread.

"What happened?"
"I’m stuck. It's so embarrassing."
“I guess things went... a-rye?”
“Please do shut up.”
"You should get out of the sun."
"Why?"
"Otherwise, you'll be toast."
"You're an asshole, Charlie."
“You’re right, you deserve butter.”

Do you like to flambe stuff?

Do you love Jim Davidson?

Have you never heard about Employment Tribunals?

Then come work for us!*

*no gayers, darkies or fat birds

Bruno Fernandes

8.33% of the managers at the 2026 World Cup have been sacked by Chelsea

Advert for kitchen staff at a local soft play centre. It’s horrible AI, and says “Banter all round, good sense of humour, cry laughing emoji” WE DON'T TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY... IT'S BANTS ALL ROUND! BUT WE STILL GET THE JOB DONE! CAN YOU HANDLE THE HEAT & THE JOKES? They also say they are having trouble with interview no-shows. Perhaps people are applying for the bants.

Found this cursed job advert

Borbs

Fuzzy little borbs

Big fan of the comically tiny but incredibly loud crew

Long-tailed tits, goldcrest and wren

Should potholing be banned?

You'll only drive it underground.

Oh mate, so sorry

IIRC Live Nation is Festival Republic's parent company

Melvin Benn's having quite the few weeks, isn't he?

First binning off Wireless having tried to book a Nazi, now this

Escobar's Cocaine Hippos?

"Nicolas Maduro Moros, you are an habitual dictator who accepts arrest as an occupational hazard, and presumably accepts imprisonment in the same casual manner. We therefore feel constrained to commit you to the maximum term allowed for these offences: you will go to prison for five years."

You know those magazine articles that are sure to become films or ten-part Netflix series or in this case long-running sitcoms?

It's fun watching the Greens pivot from not giving a shit about environmental issues to not giving a shit about racism

tweet posted by Bushra Shaikh on 11th January 2026 - quote-tweeting a tweet by Spectator Index that "UK-based Iran International reports that the most conservative estimates are that at least 2,000 protesters have been killed in Iran over the past 48 hours", she says: "The real number is 6 million"

I mean, this is a "commentator" who features fairly regularly on mainstream British media, trotting out a "quip" that implies the Holocaust death toll (and, indeed, the death toll among Iranian protesters) was exaggerated

You need to start all your posts with "Here we go", Fabrizio Romano style

I'm not a huge fan of single issue blocklists, but they don't half stop knobheads popping up in your TL

Yay! I’m part of an art project! My gallery is below. I don’t suppose anyone would want a print of me on their wall but if you would like to, they start at £4.99. barelylit.co.uk/artworks/?yi...

a blurry picture of a person wearing a yellow helmet ALT: a blurry picture of a person wearing a yellow helmet

Don't forget your tactics board

Fuck it, I’ll take the Chelsea job. I only want 100K a year. And the money saved can go on some actual coaches. I’ll just be on the touchline doing concerned crouching in tight trousers like Jeremy Kyle used to do when he was haranguing our most vulnerable citizens to death for that sweet tv wonga.

He means Sherman Klump, right?

At some point, they're going to stop making Ted Lasso, rich Americans are going to get bored of soccerball and so many English clubs are going to be boned with a capital B

I would say it's the fans I feel sorry for, but y'know...

It's Chelsea

Fuck 'em

They're incredibly "you did a wrongthink"