Harry Styles would have been a great name for a male hair salon and body waxing parlour

X by Ed Sheeran is a modern classic.

Everyone should end their set a song early. One less song in the set list is the ideal set length

Yo, Cinnamon Rolls but they’re Garlic Bread

It is my assertion that “Broad City” should have been named “Two Broke Girls” and Two Broke Girls should have never existed at all

Hell is for war criminals and the developers of Crash Bandicoot

If you’re gonna post a vehicle on FB Marketplace SHOW THE DAMN TRUNK!!!!!

Dua Lipa is a name that I recognize but if you were to ask me ( with a gun to my head) to describe them in appearance or the way they sound there is no way I could finish this sentence in a satisfying way that would subvert the expectation that I have presented in the front half of this joke

Imagine being Sarah Silverman’s character in School of Rock and having your boyfriend break up with you because his roommate stole his identity and you rightly pointed out how fucked up that was.

Life hack:
If you don’t know what a federal bill is all about you can ask Chat GPT to explain it to you like a friend at the bar

What is a banana really if not an organic hot dog?

“This songs from instagram” might be the best way to intro a song I’ve ever heard

lactose intolerant but willing to suffer.

a man singing into a microphone with the words we got both kinds of music country and western below him ALT: a man singing into a microphone with the words we got both kinds of music country and western below him

If the blues brothers took place in the mid 90’s

“I like both kinds of music”

Shout out to #KetchupEntertainment for making this #looneytunes movie happen. It’s good you should watch it

Last night at a show I was playing some guy came up to the merch table and grilled me for 10 mins on the finer points of screen printing and cost per unit and then didn’t buy a t-shirt and then also told me I could have better sticker design

I love how Gen Z was so arrogant about how much more secure they were than past generations and now is literally using a “what if I wasn’t fat” filter as a trend.

Dude you could probably tell me that the secret society of underground mole people actually exists and I wouldn’t even flinch right now.

They told us forever ago about aliens being real and I haven’t even googled that shit. I just keep scrolling.

What disease do I have?

The most impressive thing Danny did in Ocean’s Eleven wasn’t the heist it’s self but getting eleven middle aged men into a room at the same time with little to no information about what the meeting was about. Truly the greatest twist of them all.

These marketplace kids don’t haggle and that’s a real shame.

The vocals on Teenage Love by Katie Gregson MacLeod always make me yawn. Just like it’s cradling me to sleep with sweet melodies of youthful regret

I can see the lunar eclipse from my bed and that’s pretty frickin sweet

For a group of people who like to point out how fragile the left is, the conservative voters of Canada are having the craziest melt down about a pretty textbook exchange or leadership that the liberals just did

Bruh, I have not slept and I’m not about it.

What Charlie has done here is used the poster from the 2002 Ryan Reynolds vehicle “Van Wilder” and has crudely placed his head over top of Ryan’s to suggest that he is in fact the main character of the raunchy comedy while embracing turn of the millennium “it girl” Tara Reid in order to promote his upcoming gig at the university of Guelph Ontario on March 21st at the Bullring, the campus pub. Tickets are $10 for the general public and $5 for Guelph university students. the event is all ages. Doors open at 8 pm and Charlie and his band will be on at approximately 930pm

Graphic design is my passion.
We’re on at approximately 9:30pm

I don’t believe that Beyoncé actively wears Levi’s Jeans while not on camera

It is weird though how everything became porn and we didn’t even notice because we were to busy being psyched about seeing porn everywhere

There was a point where I didn’t believe I actually exist

I’ve gotta stop trusting people when they say “this edible is pretty weak, you should be fine”. I have never been so high in my whole entire life