That’s it, Astros. Pour it on, you dirty little bitches.

I saw him play. He was amazing.

I will never in my life forgive the San Antonio Spurs for tanking their season for that Wembanyama pick.

At least the Astros are making trades and working the waiver wire to find guys no one has ever heard of.

San Jacinto Day is coming up. It’s a good time to reflect on the days back when Houston was able to win at something.

What team are you rooting for now that the Astros are statistically eliminated from playoff contention / relevance?

cc @productiveouts.bsky.social

I almost logged onto Twitter to comment on Briscoe Cain’s Tweet about attending Fleet Week.

We need to have a ‘Christian Vazquez deserves more playing time’ conversation.

“I just got off the phone with NATO, babe. They said the Astros never cheated.”

Arby’s Peach Cobbler roll

Arby’s having a “Peach Cobbler Roll” is so random 😂

The LA Dodgers are promoting their “Joe Kelly Memorial 999 Challenge.”

9 innings.
Make 9 funny faces.
Run 9 miles away from the stadium.

(I’m not sure how they’re supposed to make money off this idea!) #RunFromTheFight

Does BlueSky even know about Sam Dallas? I think we’re going to have to have a talk soon.

I guess the Rangers can also be #ChaseTheMinorLeaguerAndJerkHimOff

Need to add one:

Astros = #ChaseTheFight
Joe Kelly = #RunFromTheFight
Rangers = #RetreatedFromTheAlamo

The Astros are 2 games back but are still fresh off getting swept by the Mariners. Is that still a #ChaseTheFight scenario or is it canceled out on account of the ass waxing?

Astros = #ChaseTheFight
Joe Kelly = #RunFromTheFight

I’m sorry, Astros. *Grabs pencil and paper.* What does Chase the Fight mean again? What exactly is the fight? Is that the division, is it competitive games, or is it maybe like a final boss type situation? #ChaseTheFight

We’re back, baby! #ChaseTheFight

(Update: The Astros are still “playing shitty baseball.”)

Exactly. And because the Astros prospered for an entire decade (two titles and won over the hearts and minds of an entire nation), it stands to reason that they did not cheat. Thank you for pointing this out, good citizen!

Our road is a long one. But we’ll make it—along side our friends, the rest of Major League Baseball.

And to Astros fans: We were gracious winners, created a new standard for honor and respect, won on and off the field, champions of truth, leading in sportsmanship—hold your head up and know the rest of the league lifts you up, is here to guide you, support you, love you.

From the Ghost of Doubleday to the lowest and trashiest Rangers fan, all fans suffer when Astros fans suffer. Our struggle is your struggle. And, to every baseball fan, we hear you. Your love and support means everything to us right now! #OneTeam

I’m in a group chat with many of the world’s most famous and innovative baseball accounts—fan bases spanning the globe—and each one has reached out to express their love and encouragement for me and all Astros fans during this trying time. ❤️

And here come the 6-10 Colorado Rockies, stopping by the H to beat our asses…

#Astros

Glad to have you aboard! #TeamArbys

Are these two people the same guy?

The first inning as soon as it sees an Astros pitcher.

Dana Brown and Joe Espada telling the new pitcher that he’s starting tomorrow: