Does BlueSky even know about Sam Dallas? I think we’re going to have to have a talk soon.

I guess the Rangers can also be #ChaseTheMinorLeaguerAndJerkHimOff

Need to add one:

Astros = #ChaseTheFight
Joe Kelly = #RunFromTheFight
Rangers = #RetreatedFromTheAlamo

The Astros are 2 games back but are still fresh off getting swept by the Mariners. Is that still a #ChaseTheFight scenario or is it canceled out on account of the ass waxing?

Astros = #ChaseTheFight
Joe Kelly = #RunFromTheFight

I’m sorry, Astros. *Grabs pencil and paper.* What does Chase the Fight mean again? What exactly is the fight? Is that the division, is it competitive games, or is it maybe like a final boss type situation? #ChaseTheFight

We’re back, baby! #ChaseTheFight

(Update: The Astros are still “playing shitty baseball.”)

Exactly. And because the Astros prospered for an entire decade (two titles and won over the hearts and minds of an entire nation), it stands to reason that they did not cheat. Thank you for pointing this out, good citizen!

Our road is a long one. But we’ll make it—along side our friends, the rest of Major League Baseball.

And to Astros fans: We were gracious winners, created a new standard for honor and respect, won on and off the field, champions of truth, leading in sportsmanship—hold your head up and know the rest of the league lifts you up, is here to guide you, support you, love you.

From the Ghost of Doubleday to the lowest and trashiest Rangers fan, all fans suffer when Astros fans suffer. Our struggle is your struggle. And, to every baseball fan, we hear you. Your love and support means everything to us right now! #OneTeam

I’m in a group chat with many of the world’s most famous and innovative baseball accounts—fan bases spanning the globe—and each one has reached out to express their love and encouragement for me and all Astros fans during this trying time. ❤️

And here come the 6-10 Colorado Rockies, stopping by the H to beat our asses…

#Astros

Glad to have you aboard! #TeamArbys

Are these two people the same guy?

The first inning as soon as it sees an Astros pitcher.

Dana Brown and Joe Espada telling the new pitcher that he’s starting tomorrow:

Dana Brown picking up tomorrow’s starting pitcher from Sugar Land.

It’s a cold world! 💔 #Astros

I guess my mom has been reading my tweets because she just brought me a cold rag. #Astros

I stayed up to midnight for this? The Houston Astros are treating us like bitches.

Is this what Angels fans deal with every year? Is that us now?

I can’t handle this shit.

Bryan Abreu was supposed to be the top reliever on the market next off season. I wouldn’t hire his ass to work at my Arby’s! He would miss the drive thru window and get horsey sauce all over our floor!

Haven’t we suffered enough?

I feel like a horse’s ass for thinking a 7-2 lead was safe.

We may have sent the wrong rockets to the moon.

I know a guy. Jeff Luhnow would trade Trump to the Orioles for two mid-tier prospects and international bonus pool money.

5th inning was brutal. Astros ended up surrendering 8 runs in the 5th inning when a Rockies fan yelled “that’s my man” during every one of Ryan Weiss’s windups.