When passing through Jamaica, I always say goodnight to the shit-thrown ceiling in mta's public restroom. Five months strong #blessedandimpressed

Our shelter pups got a good turkey + sweet potato meal yesterday for the holidays ♥️

The Holidays: I proposed scalloped potatoes from the box but my partner wants to cook from scratch so I'm searching all of nyc for a mandoline but everyone keeps showing me mandolins so I started calling it a mandalorian but every time I search for recipes I keep searching for scalped potatoes and

This is my new dog sitting headshot: Kyle, punching me in the head

Mama says 😜 💕

Finally got a labubu!!!

Sorry ConEd, this cone belongs to Steel now

Backyard update❗

How come I've never seen this pizza box "italian man" stock image used before and now need to get it tattoo'd on myself asap

Babe tomates are growing! And my kaiju son, demanding why the sun killed all the grass (he wants to graze)

A wonderful woman who I dog sit/train every week is helping me start my own edible garden! I can't wait to be sending ripe tomato pics to anyone who asks me if my partner and I are planning on having kids :)

From left to right: Dewey, Diego, Newton, and Earl. All up for adoption. I would jump in front of a train for them

Shout out to only my fellow misophonia sufferers

"oy vey"

Ready for my Yale/NYU photo masters

I've missed the trash pickin's in park slope and dumpster diving!

My partner and I (and our three furry kiddos) moved outta midtown and into park slope! We have a grassy backyard with a fire pit and I'm planning a garden to eat from. These were the only pics I took cause moving sucks ass, but I'm so happy to be back in Brooklyn 🥹

And don't ask me which war at this point cause I'll accidentally reference an american school shooting

Bitch all you want about the weather, but I live in a prewar apartment. Check fucking mate and also ffuuuuuugghhhhhhhhhhb

The only good thing about a heat wave is that everyone is going crazy, so I'm just gonna walk to 7/11 in my underwear. Wait, I'm gonna go vote in my underwear eating 7/11 potato wedges. The heat wave also said fuck cuomo

a man in a white shirt is making a funny face and says god ALT: a man in a white shirt is making a funny face and says god

I dropped my 7/11 potato wedges all over my feet, on my kitchen floor. I got up from bed for this

Also shout out to our local FDNY for lending us their power tools cause this chair was A BITCH to assemble

I normally give her neck and back massages while we wait in her chair, so here is her "why'd u stop" face

Lily is my first experience with megaesophagus! She has her own chair that keeps her elevated so food can safely travel down to her stomach without regurgitation. She needs to sit upright for 30 minutes and her patience is unmatched ♥️

Out of all the animal injuries I have collected over the years, I think this finger sprain from a dog crunch takes the pain cake. This throbbing makes me squeamish yuck. The finger is nice and thick and purple and I hate it

Cleaning off my gaming shelf

It was my fault for letting my guard down due to his size - I'm a huge animal grabbing + gripping him to handle his sensitive butt. After he bit me, he was very persistent with staying near me while begging for my attention. His a very good boy who struggles with communicating his needs. I love Tyke

After working with dogs for a year, my worst worst worst gnarly bite was not from a pitbull, rotty, or bulldog. Not a large breed, but from our smallest resident Tyke. We were trying to clean his butthole from poop and I totally crossed his boundaries.

From this dyslexic to anotha: don't let the word "syllables" ruin your text of conscious

Chant wit me: TUBES TIED, TUBES TIED, TUBES TIED.