Never be afraid to avoid new things.

Welp the whites are fighting

New torture device:

‘Tell em bring another shot of whiskey
They know me and Jack Daniel got a history
There’s party downtown on 5th street
Everybody in the bar get tipsy’

On repeat for 36 hours straight

I’d give up all my secrets. Prob after like 2 hrs

for every successful X-Man theres gotta be a ton of these mutants who just have like, organ failure

I’m a man’s man.
I like my steak rare, my whiskey straight, and my water sparkling with a hint of citrus.

I haven't been paying close attention to the news, but I was very surprised to see that Mike Tyson is going to fight RuPaul.

Wait it’s not Ron Paul?

mental health break? you bet it did

I’m getting very drunk today

Still reeling from “concepts of a plan” being a winning message

He just can’t stop being the worst can he?

White men have cut off their noses to spite their faces.

Reevaluating everything

I'm headed right now to vote for Kamala Harris. I hope you do too. I don't know how else to put this without sounding too earnest, or like an asshole, but you can't easily undo fascism. I am voting for her and expect to yell at her for good. Only under her administration is that a real possibility.

Gonna start off with just singular sclerosis and go from there.

The flaws that lead to your demise are already baked in

What I thought I’d be doing today: Watching USC VS UM.

What I’m really doing:
Watching Stephen Sondheim teaching how to sing ‘Send in the Clowns’

Whattup under 2 mill that’s me

A bold strategy cotton, let’s see if it pays for em.

No one cares haha

This place feels like 2013 twitter. I loved 2013 twitter

Wait, you can just, do that?

Someone asked me for a cigarette on the street and I told them I only had 3 left so I couldn’t spared one. I totally lied. I had like a whole pack.

Seriously tho what is the difference between jelly and jam?

“I’m not gonna sugar coat this..”

-me making eggs

Soooo are these like, still tweets? Feels like tweeting.

Lot less porn on this one.