my caseload at work is funny rn cuz it's almost entirely queer and/or adhd and/or autistic people, and then there's just 1 cisgender, heterosexual, neurotypical dude.

(i will ALSO be thinking about that cultivator asking Xie Lian why he has ghost qi INSIDE him now instead of just on his lips and Xie Lian reflecting that it's "because Hua Cheng had taken care of him so thoroughly" lolololol)

finished the last book of Heaven Official's Blessing, if anyone needs me i will be thinking about this and sobbing

this is the metric against which i will now be judging all coming out scenes

mxtx wrote that part of the book for ME

also on the next page he uttered the words, "Master having fun is the most important reason in the world," wtf wtf wtf

yesterday i got to a point in HOB where Hua Cheng has to pretend to be a kind of ghost called a Puppet Master and Xie Lian has to pretend to be his puppet and when some other ghosts ask what kind of puppet he is, he smiles and says, "Obviously, the kind that belongs to him," and i'm still recovering

My fellow dolls, we need to revive the chatelaine as an accessory!

there's an incredible contrivence where the fastest way to transfer spiritual power is through the mouth, so when Plot happens and Ghost King is overwhelmed by Too Much Magic, Disgraced God has NO CHOICE but to spend hours smooching him in order to absorb the magic. perfect, absolutely no notes.

these books have made me both cry and laugh out loud multiple times, truly an emotional roller coaster.

(this happens after a Daoist cultivator in said mob points out that he's riddled with ghost qi, and he's like, 'that's impossible, i'm a god! what part of me has ghost qi?' and the guy's like 'um, your lips?' and he realizes it's from smooching a ghost. LITERATURE.)

only in the sense that he's so bad at cooking that everyone except his ghost king boyfriend basically passes out when they eat his food. but he DOES escape an angry mob by throwing them perfectly into everyone's mouths in a single majestic motion and then telling them they're poisoned.

just reached a point in the book where he cooks and serves a dish he names, "Incorruptible Chastity Meatballs," help

you guys don't even understand the amount of self control i am exercising by not constantly posting about disgraced god x ghost king boyfriends

hyperfixation is hyperfixating and i am just vibrating with it

i'm so normal about them i'm so fucking normal

one of these boys has taken a vow of chastity

i am not exaggerating when i say that in my 36 years of life i have never shipped anyone. i thought my brain just didn't really work that way. but here we fucking are.

youtube keeps recommending me content about these boys and it's going to destroy my algorithm because god help me i am not strong enough to resist

new fragrance layering combo just dropped

...and when i say hold onto your hats i mean

anyway my current hyperfixation is specific to the work (and adaptations thereof) of Mo Xiang Tong Xiu, but it's threatening to spiral into a more general danmei hyperfixation so everyone hold on to your hats

every few years I go on a hunt where I try to find fantasy novels with queer protagonists, and I always wind up kinda underwhelmed and disappointed. wild to discover that the stories i've been looking for are in China, of all places.

my amazon recommendations are so chaotic right now, it's just a mix of therapy books and Chinese BL novels

it's not that i don't enjoy sex scenes in stories that feel romantic to me, i just don't really find them arousing. idk, my sexuality is so fuckin weird you guys.

like, if i read/watch a love story that makes me go "awww omg i love them 😍" there is a vanishingly small chance that any sex scene between those characters will be more than mildly hot to me. and the kind of stories that really turn me on are too fucked up to be earnestly romantic.

for the most part i'm fine with the fact that "fantasies i get off to" and "fantasies i'd like to experience" are largely separate categories for me, but i do sometimes wish i could find fictional stories that felt both genuinely erotic and genuinely romantic to me.

You gotta fight for your right to sit quietly doing nothing

okcupid used to have a toggle labeled "i don’t want to see or be seen by straight people" and that is massively where i am at emotionally right now

"but are you normal about trans women" jesus, no - i quite like them