I fucking hate hyperfixations because what do you mean we are now obsessed with ducks and nothing but dicks and won’t stop until we learn everything about them? 🙄

A very lovely girl complimented my shirt (I was wearing a Solo Leveling t-shirt) and I wanted to return a compliment to her cute outfit but my unsmart brain decided to short circuit and all I could say was “thanks have a nice day”. 😭😭 Why am I like this???

Your gender is now the job/profession of one the main characters of the last show you watched. What is it?

My gender is a burger man named Bob who has 3 kids and a wife that drives him crazy. 😂

Me: psp psp psp
*hears the clickity clacking of heels*
Me: oh lawd a queen is comin’

I am a friends with soup benefits. I bring you soup!
Witch in the background, waving a ladle: GET BACK HERE!!

Me: I really don’t like the taste of milk.
Person: You shouldn’t be drinking milk anyway! That’s murder and milk belongs to a baby cow! You’re a horrible person and should feel bad!
Me, drinking “milk” from nuts that I milked earlier: um ok buddy

The (unfortunate) neurodivergent tendency to love and care so deeply for people who don’t reciprocate the same intensity so now you’re feeling bad for supposedly “love bombing” people when that wasn’t your intention 🫠 I’m sorry, lemme just see myself out

In the spirit of Halloween Month, your gender(s) is/are the horror monster(s) that you like/fear the most.

Me to me: BUYING NEW SKETCHBOOKS AND MARKERS AND COLORED PENCILS WON’T MAKE YOU A BETTER ARTIST IF YOU DON’T ACTUALLY USE THEM
Me: how fecking rude

How I feel about this timeline right now

ADHD math is when you’re supposed to take your meds at 8:30 AM but it’s 8:33 AM so you’ll just wait until 8:35 AM and now its 8:30 PM and too late to take the meds because you’ll be overdosing (once a day dose only) so you’ll just have to wait for tomorrow now.

Queer isn’t just gay and trans. Queer is anything that isn’t heteronormative and/or cisnormative. When I say I am queer, I mean I am a genderfluid grey aroace.

🩷🤍💜🖤💙 💚🤍🩶🖤💜🤍🩶🖤

*takes a long swig of my Dr. Pepper and exhales sharply* Dear Diary? Haven’t heard that name in years.

Me, minding my own business and just eating spaghetti: :o … :3 … :o … :3 …
My brain: crack an egg into it
Me: bruh what

I’m convinced that if my house was ever haunted I’d never know because my ADHD bitch ass be leaving doors opened everywhere and I be the one making the groaning noises getting out of bed and my bones be creaking loudly and shit with every step I take

Me to me: do u actually ship them or do u just want them to suffer together
Me: yes

WE INTERRUPT YOUR DOOM SCROLLING TO PRESENT YOU WITH THIS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

📣 You need to be ✨Q U E E R E R✨. 📣

THANK YOU, SCROLL ALONG NOW.

sometimes i find myself feeling envious of binary trans people because my transition goal is literally to just not be perceived by the mortal eye

Me: I used to collect paper bags and foil candy wrappers when I was younger because I liked their crunchy noises.
Wife: …okay, so it was already manifesting itself when you were younger.
Me: What was?
Wife: 🥰 Nothing, my love.
Me: sus…………….

Me collecting all the genders I found (as a genderfluid person):

The funniest fan theory (from the extended “family” or rather, the village idiots) about myself is that I have the powers to turn people in my family gay/queer.
Can y’all imagine me actually having this ability? Nobody would be safe. I would just be passing out queerness like nobody’s business. 😂

Nothing prepares you for when life decides you need to eat the weirdest combinations of foods in order to satiate that appetite.

XXXtra Hot Cheetos and chicken dumpling soup for me tonight. e.e

Just heard one of my freeloaders* let out the biggest and heaviest sigh, like he had worked a 16 hour shift. And I felt my heart swelling because THIS is the dream. To give my freeloaders the life that I never had. And a part of me heals on the inside knowing that they’re happy with me.

*furbabies

Ah, yes. The “Queer Agenda”. Lemme just… *turns around, shielding myself from being seen trying to flip through a book with ink stains and water damaged pages whilst muttering* queer agenda queer agenda queer agenda *turns back to the crowd* FREE BOBAS FOR ALL!
*the crowd cheers for free bobas*

Gay friend: “This tastes like ass”
Me: So it’s good then.
Him: “No, it tastes like ass.”
Me: But don’t you eat ass?
Him: “…”
Me: Yeah, thought so.

That moment when you’re post yapping and realize that you did a little too much over sharing but you can’t take it back now so you just skedaddle off like a crab with claws raised

“Be quiet! You’re being too loud!”
The silent heartbreak I feel every time because when my ADHD self gets super excited I unfortunately get very loud but I’m forced to shut down because sometimes I get carried away and it’s “making everyone uncomfortable”. My bad.

“How are you aroace and married?”
Me: yes

As a genderfluid being, I just did a whole speedrun date thing with all the genders and ended back at square one 😩

Translation:
1. Move! or Move out of the way!
2. Are you looking/searching for death?
3. “Tiger bite” (Hmong curse word—can be used also as a noun in this instance) blocking the way!
4. Hopefully I will not have to meet/see this “face” (also insult) ever again.
5. Go eat shit!