First ballot shithousery hall of famer

“The reverse beep on trucks” Stringer Bell saying “ I want you to put the word out there that we back up”

i can't find a principled way to articulate this but there are some things that should only exist in the grey market. you should have to take some risk to participate and the risk functions as regulation.

for gambling, it should be travel or physical violence. i don't make the rules.

CENTCOM told me Iran keeps hitting their high-value assets so I asked how many they have and they said they just go to the Pentagon and get new ones afterwards so I said it sounds like they're just feeding high-value assets to the Iranians and then INDOPACOM started crying

SCHLAPP: Who wants to see impeachment hearings?

CPAC CROWD: *cheers*

SCHLAPP: No. That was the wrong answer.

A year ago today, I had the honor of a lifetime becoming the Mayor of my hometown City of Cerritos at the Mayoral Transition by a unanimous vote of the City Council. Thank you to Lynda, Mark, Jennifer, Sophia, my dad and mom Tom and Chit, my wife Wendy and kids Makenna and Maddox, everyone who supported me, and the Cerritos community for a fantastic, wonderful and amazing experience serving as the Mayor of Cerritos. We got a lot of good work done! I had an awesome year, and I will always treasure it. Cerritos Mayor Frank Aurelio Yokoyama

THE MAYOR OF CERRITOS, CALIFORNIA POSTS IN THE STAR TREK: LOWER DECKS FACEBOOK GROUP?!

Well, that aged phenomenally.

Cis people will really be like "ohh, new Harry Potter" stuff on Wednesday and on Thursday be like "ah well, that sucks about trans women banned from the Olympics" on Thursday and not be able to connect the dots

No.

MLB scoreboard of Pirates vs Mets that reads P: 0 NY: 0 or could be seen as “Ponyo” (LET’S GO METS!!!)

An underrated Miyazaki classic #LGM

Voetbal International says Norway complained about their hotel location in Amsterdam since it's by a big highway with nothing else around - leading coach Ståle Solbakken to quip, "If you can't sit by a four-lane highway here for three days, you won't make it in the United States for 35 days either."

war_iran_final-blow_v1.pdf

war_iran_final-final-blow-v2.pdf

war_iran_final-blow-no edits.pdf

war_iran_final-blow-no edits (1).pdf

war_iran_final-blow-no edits (1) APPROVED.pdf

IRANWARPLANSFINALFINALFINAL.pdf

IRANWARPLANSFINALFINALFINAL (1).pdf

Cat Cockroach Clothing DIY Kit, 2025 New Funny Cat Costume Accessories, Cockroach Pet Cape Craft Set for cat Lovers Gift (2pcs) Brand: Generic Search this page $1394

Two cats wearing cockroach costumes are moving around on the floor

4 cats wearing cockroach costumes on sitting on a bed.

3 cats wearing cockroach costumes are sitting on a bed.

How to get disowned by your family.

Available on Amazon for $13.94.

Portland Fans Are Removing the Corporate Sponsor’s Logo From Their Thorns Jerseys The Ring logos on Thorns jerseys come right off with a handheld steamer.

😁 Portland Fans Are Removing the Corporate Sponsor’s Logo From Their Thorns Jerseys 🌹 #BAONPDX www.wweek.com/sports/2026/...

worf says death to the opposition

baseball is back

Shoeless Joe Jackson

“Make it a season you’ll never forget when you bet on baseball”

Aaron Judge, so.

Just being a Yankee is more than enough to get booed, who cares about the other stuff

He couldn’t have held “free” another 34 seconds in the National Anthem? I just lost my house on Kalshi

All of the money ever made by all of the harry potter books and movies and games and all the things ever said about them all rolled up into one and multiplied by a hundred thousand is still not worth the life of a single trans kid.

two taxi cabs on the field before the pregame ceremony, idk. there appears to be a very tall Yankees player going between the cabs, but there's simply no way to tell who it is. (it is aaron judge)

first pitch in just a second, but before that ...

The world is a dark place, but that doesn't mean you can't laugh at it: Taxi Driver: The Animated Series, coming to Netflix this May.

TEN COMMANDMENTS - For Football Men - 1. Love thy enemy as thyself, but love thyself a mighty blooming little. 2. Thou shalt not kill, but thou mayest break as many ribs as convenient. 3. Do not unto others as you would have others do unto you, but do up the others before they get a chance to do you. 4. When a man smites thee on thy left cheek, turn upon him thy right hand and send for an ambulance. 5. When a fellow gets the pigskin, leave him not to enjoy his victory but down him and pound him for his trouble. 6. Honesty is the best policy, but never hesitate to swipe the ball when you get a chance. 7. Thou shalt not covet thy opponent's weight, nor his hair, nor his nose-guard; but thou shalt covet his pigskin with all thy might, mind, and strength. 8. When thou hast the ball, stray not into by and forbidden paths, but take a straight and narrow course for the goal; and if anyone oppose thy progress, thou shalt give him a straight arm, hard enough to send thirteen molars on a voyage down his alimentary canal. 9. Let not thy line be made of lumber wagons, for such are easily cut through. 10. Let thy best men be called half backs and thy worst men draw-backs.

The 10 Football Commandments from the 1909 Utah State yearbook.

I’ve been living by these for years

screenshot of a "Citizenship Day Quiz," the first question of which is "Who is in-charge of the executive branch?" The answer options are A. The president B. The vice president C. The chief justice of the Supreme Court

randomly just got this popup and I'm like lawl y'know what, that's a great question, I wish I knew

yeah im bummed about sora. bummed i sora bunch of stupid fake videos

a screenshot from the wire, "price of the brick going up" scene

when companies come crawling back from the ai bubble burst and need Premium Grade Artist Labor again

truly, nobody is feeling more vindicated this week than airport dads

I’m at ICE HQ

An adult man named Esoteric Jeff claiming The Onion would be out of business by 2025.

A series of other guys with names like Esoteric Jeff giving The Onion 12 months to live.

The Onion being named one of the most innovative companies of 2026.

Eat shit, lol, and long live The Onion.