Headline of the Day.

Right?? Those chairs do DAMAGE.

Two hooded figures with lamps approach a moonlit, isolated cottage. A woman answers the door. We have come for the child, says the hooded figure So soon? she asks It is time, says the hooded figure. The woman is distraught. We should never have got him a library card! What is done cannot be undone, says the hooded figure We couldn’t see the harm! We just wanted him to enjoy reading! For most, it ends there, says the hooded figure, turning away and walking into the wilderness Oh lord, What have I done! says the woman, the child walks past her and out into the darkness with them. Do not cry mother. I am a writer now.

my latest books cartoon for @theguardian.com

I wouldn't mind jury duty so much if they didn't have healthcare-facility-quality chairs... that you have to sit in ALL DAY.

There is no universe in which I see a hut on chicken legs in the middle of the woods and don't go in.

The delivery driver was swearing at a dysfunctional automated program he was dealing with, and I guess he assumed my roommate, being white, would not be familiar with Spanish swear words. (She grew up in AZ.) So he was there swearing and she was desperately keeping a straight face. 🤣

Who knew gas mileage used to matter when instagramming?

No, this is a 20+-story building, so no cats going outside. :)

You know that saying, "the only constant in all of your bad relationships is you"? This one should be, "the only constant in all of your fat cats is how much you feed them."

I think I did a remarkable job keeping a straight face when the lady I was talking to in my building's laundry room this morning explained that she absolutely does NOT overfeed her cats and she had told her vet that she had no idea why they were all fat!

🤗

Jack's work is fabulous! I have two wonderful pendants that I love very much even though I rarely wear jewelry!

I don't know if I have a *favourite* bird of prey but I feel like, locally, merlins have to be pretty high on the list

They are so BEENSY and then you go outside and you see one happily eating a pigeon and you're like "THAT IS THE SAME SIZE AS YOU, MA'AM"

The biggest thing that's changed in the last ten years is people's willingness to say things out loud that they never would have before.

🫂

I'm so glad there are residents like you!

Every major place I've lived, it's been unofficially well-known that a subset of people gets called at the minimum timeframe like clockwork. I suspect it's a random number generator in the software that's more pseudorandom than random.

ICE arrests in D.C. region reach nearly 20,000 during Trump’s second term Nearly 60 percent of the more than 19,500 people arrested had no prior criminal record, federal data shows.

ICE arrests in D.C. region reach nearly 20,000 during Trump’s second term

Nearly 60 percent of the more than 19,500 people arrested had no prior criminal record, federal data shows.

www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/202...

I don't want to live in a reality where "Big Balls" is referred to as a "legend."

MIT also has a lot of reason to support hot new technologies, because tech companies want to hire their grads. So when they indicate that the biggest hot new technology of our age causes harm to its users, we should probably pay attention.

Yes, there are times when I can barely write or use a mouse/keyboard. Although OT definitely helped.

🫂

I have FND as well, although primarily the abnormal movement/tremor variety.

😆 I like to get creative with my profanities. They just seem to have more oomph that way.

Thank you. Why are so many of these guys flaming dicks?

Good lord I had no idea. But yeah, I was asking because at this point his silence sounds a whole lot like agreement. Of course I got to thinking about this because of the Firefly animated thing he wants to do that, huh, is supposed to have Baldwin in it.

Is it just me, or does this look a lot like a fax machine circa 1990s?

Has Fillion ever said anything one way or the other about Whedon and Baldwin's actions toward women?

I love our D&D game. We're being kidnapped by three giant tree-folk named Greg, Louie, and Eddy. Well, we're letting them think they're kidnapping us...

ARGH. Ever since I moved here five years ago, I have been summoned for jury duty every year like clockwork.

👏