what if i fucking kill you

i feel bad for my girlfriend. she's having a lot of difficulty finding work, except the schools are all desperate for teachers, so she *could* have a job tomorrow, but really doesn't want to go back to that... bah. capitalism sucks. i dunno if anyone else has noticed this

you're stronger

fatigue

I think these lime Bublys are my favorite Plus, they've got Super Mario on them so they're Italian

Super Mario

aww, my nephew put me on his tomadorki island. he put "all his favourite people" in, very charming.

Is the US actually *competent* at anything anymore? Any one area?

hmm so blaming the left was the least effective style of messaging by far? that's so wild, who could have guessed

i'm spooky (reader)

lol

The extremely propaganda-driven right wing backlash to COVID protections was because they realized they finally found their moment to take the mask off and start killing the elderly and infirm en masse. Maybe the one functional bit of consent building they’ve pulled off in years

Wall Street Journal headline: "Alan Dershowitz: Why I'm Becoming a Republican"

Higher acceptance of sex crimes, same reason as everyone else who announces this

I always thought Sun Tzu's "Art of War" was a little simplistic and obvious but it turns out yes, you do literally need to tell the Secretary of War "you need to feed your troops and keep them from being wiped out by preventable diseases"

didn't know that was a thing! good luck

you're a cat

age of electricity!! age of electricity!!

just watched a redneck eating chicken tikka masala for the first time describe it as “if a country italian person prepared it in a chinese kinda way”

aww. you're a sweetie. but earlier today i spent a good ten minutes looking for the water bottle..... that i was holding. so.

I consider mids loud

420 blaze it

but then i'd be smart as fuck

i already removed my wisdom teeth!!! that's why i'm an airhead!!!!!!!!

Child's homework: find the sum of 20 and 32. (52) Explain how you solved the problem: "I usd [sic] my mind" Teacher's comment: ok

I see my child has inherited my sense of hatred for the superfluous

how scary

adorable

in retrospect i’ve become significantly more comfortable with and less anxious of existing in public spaces as myself in the time since i stopped incessantly reading reed et al., and i am quite certain these happenings are at least in part related

I used to be able to tell my phone "navigate to Costco" and it would pull up directions. Now an AI voice tells me the address of the two nearest Costcos and advises me to use Waze or MapQuest to get there. If I open Google Maps and type Costco, I get an ad for Safeway.

rest in peach

I feel like enough time has passed to officially put this in the “dad movie hall of fame. This is the sort of thing dads will happily watch on TNT for the next twenty years

Karis (@kwehzy): its officially been 5 months since i started my job search. only gotten 3 interviews after hundreds of applications. so many companies probably out there selling my data now. still no job! o

Is there any reason why we don’t get royalty payments from the use of our data other than that the tech industry would be bankrupted almost immediately? We’re all still producing a ton of value for these companies while stuck sending out hundreds of job applications for nothing.