there should be a “student driver” bumper sticker except it warns everyone about the other parts of your life

id love to relax but my brain
just keeps opening more tabs

are you telling me this scallion can rap

Maybe they should rename it the Strait of Hombres

::::plays back audio recording taken during a paranormal investigation::::::

“…show us your boobs…”

Is earwax meant to keep things from burrowing in or things from clawing their way out?

She’s a 10, but when she skeets, all of BlueSky goes down.

sitting my ass down and ignoring reality

Live your truth, then tone it down a little.

do not “touch base” with me you fucking pervert

Alexa, how many chia seeds do i need to build my own Chia pet army?

At the punk show clapping politely and hoping no one spills my $10 beer

Police visit 91-year-old woman who missed check-in calls only to find her "playing video games in her bedroom" and "trying to beat her record" The game is on

New goals unlocked

Business in the front... 🥹

A beautiful pacific fruit-piercing moth caterpillar (Eudocima phalonia), often referred to as a "cosmic" or "galaxy" caterpillar due to its unique appearance. It is deep purple faded into black in places and pink in others. There are tiny white dots all over that look like stars, as well as red dots in a line done the side. It has two googly eyes looking spots near the back. It’s absolutely stunning in it’s drama . Here we see it perpendicular to a stem flowing up form the ground. It’s got a horse head shape near the bottom and a big bulbous back end.

who is she

a man is laughing with his mouth open and the words `` ha ha ha ha '' written on the bottom . Alt: Harry from Resident Alien laughing awkwardly

This is some bullshit 🤓

Be cautious of everyone you meet because statistically, there’s a high likelihood they are undercover pieces of shits.

it's not underwear it's a tank bottom

He died the way he lived: Trying to get a consistent Bluetooth connection between his Fitbit and his phone.

I cybernews® Home » News Bluesky under "sophisticated" DDOS attack Published: 17 April 2026

Loving this passive aggressive punctuation

I have buttons and when this one gets pushed, candy doesn’t come out

scuba classic
divers rockers
🤝

Air Supply fans

if you’ve never endured period poops you absolutely should not be able to vote, some things just require life experience

A screenshot of a weather map where the enhanced risk of several weather looks like a phallus.

I'm in the balls, I better not get blown all over Texas

a giant (labeled “this fuckass website that never works” looms in the distance with a regular sized dude in the foreground (labeled “my beautiful thoughts”). c’mon guys you’re competing against elon musk’s club penguin for nazis i’m gonna need you to lock in

Wow is this really what we were trying to load all day? Couldn't wait to see this?

Bluesky was down today...huh?
I better still get my bonus check this month.

I’m trying to find inner peace today, but baby it’s a lil hard.

does everyone really stupid always think they’re extremely smart or is that just the american experience

Kanye made a whole album about how going to college and learning things is stupid and we all sang along to it.