woke up 2 days post sister’s wedding (after all the post- wedding work i had no idea existed 😭) literally unable to walk bc i forgot I’m old now and overexerted myself AND THEN my dog had a GI episode so severe he was hospitalized for 3 days
adding “wants to elope” to my dating non-negotiables
her officiant (and best friend since kindergarten 😭) was stuck in the airport bc her flight delayed just long enough for food poisoning to hit
AND SHE GOT ON THE SECOND PLANE ANYWAY
our last hurdle is a steadily weaking chance of rain but after this, i really think we can beat it
gonna need everyone, everywhere to pull their shit together for the next few days bc my sister gets married Sunday and if there’s even one more minor inconvenience i fear she’ll strangle whoever’s standing closest to her, which is usually me
azazie is THE WORST and also the only semi reliable option for so many people, i feel your pain 😭
finally got my MOH dresses in this week after ordering in early Jan (!!!) for a wedding next weekend and only 1 of 4 options fit well enough to have tailored to actually fit. dreading the returns 😩
soooo tired of the ‘chappel roan is too mean’ narrative being pushed by people who definitely consider catching a vehicular manslaughter charge every time a semi tries to merge into their lane
the lawyer arguing that calling a cop “a son of a bitch” is an expression of opinion because it can’t be proved and the cop saying “yeah, she’s been dead for years” and the lawyer CRACKING UP in court 😭
if you’re having a bum week, go look up the Afroman trial
✋🏻absolute cinema🤚🏻
the cousin unfriended all the women in our family (months ago, apparently) but kept all their partners so she could still snoop omg i’m cryin
my sisters’s reaching out to RSVP stragglers and just uncovered an unknown, very one sided beef with a second cousin and all of our immediate family 💀
i feel strongly that anyone that thinks that there is a nefarious cabal of surgeons and doctors Transing people should be forced to try and schedule one (1) transsexual procedure
people love to be like "you shouldn't hate anyone, it gives them power over you" girl no it don't lmao
derps for dad 🙂↕️
I promise you that the government that murdered Alex Pretti and Renee Good does not give a flying fuck about the protests in Iran.
“I’m quoting the great Hilaria Baldwin” took me to my knees #thetraitorsus
locals are conspiracy posting about a grid attack from (insert any group MAGA hates here) as if Texas’ power grid hasn’t been held together by nothing more than hopes and dreams for years
our entire city (and several surrounding) lost power RIGHT as i tripped and knocked shit over in the garage and my sister won’t stop telling people i did it
i inherited my dads diabolically ugly feet and have been hobbling around all week thinking i sprained my toe only to be reminded that he also has GOUT which i have likely inherited too
welcome to America, land of the free, home of the brave. please have your birth certificate, student ID or driver's license, passport, Social Security card, marriage license, and favorite quote from Mein Kampf ready to present immediately upon request at any time
He literally says in this clip that ICE will keep in Minnesota “quick reaction forces” — a military term — to go after “agitators.” Remember that those on the ground in MPLS have spent more than a week trying to tell everyone that Trump’s prior “deescalation” was a ruse and ICE is still operational
the thing about living with my sister and her fiancée is, I’ll never stop bc
1) the rental AND buying market is fucked forever
AND 2) i need someone physically in the room that i can coerce into laugh-reacting at my risqué family groupchat messages
Feds gave Jeffrey Epstein a sweetheart deal when he was alive, let him die before facing trial, obstructed justice after his death, punished victims for demanding transparency, and are now trying to move on without addressing the vast corruption and abuse. THIS is how our “justice” system works.
her fiancé also knows who it is so we’ve been furiously texting on the side 💀
she’s back and we’re only 2 eps away but wow they HEAVILY hinted to this in post, huh?
obvi it was public knowledge before the season so they were just setting it up, but i thought the reveal was going to be as shocking to her as it was to me (spoiled on tiktok) and boy, will it not be
oh no, there’s the backfire #thetraitorsus
the way Rob from Love Island is pulling off traitor betrayal to further himself better than BOSTON ROB ??? #thetraitorsus
not Natalie porscha’ing herself #thetraitorsus
Yam Yam avenging his damn self 😭😭 miss you already king #thetraitorsus
my sister and i are watching VPR for the first time and are FINALLY mere episodes from Scandoval (i know who it was, she doesn’t) and her boss is leaving town and making her house sit until SATURDAY NIGHT
it is beautiful how we are having another moment of Bluesky unity. everybody basking in the glow of how Ilhan Omar was very visibly gonna punch that dude in the mouth
People are being executed in the street over a problem that straight up does not exist and both parties are complicit in the lie