When I die bury me with a bunch of these like they’re terracotta soldiers

Matt Damon playing a 14th century French knight that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mullet. Beard. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and cigarette smoke.

Matt Damon while playing Odysseus who also looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Long, skinny beard. Smells like horseshit, pine tar, and perhaps Mediterranean herbs.

Matt Damon playing a 19th century cowboy that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mustache. Shaggy hair. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and definitely chewing tobacco.

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

A bright yellow kiosk stands in stark contrast to the background.

A vintage photo showing two people at a beach kiosk

One of my favorite Yugoslav designs is the K67 modular kiosk. Injection molded modular plastic building often used for newspaper vendors, coffee shops and info kiosks. Could be linked together like legos. www.archpaper.com/2023/01/univ...

Jack Black with dreads smoking weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed in a pool with some candles

Happy 4/20, please enjoy this picture of Jack Black from I Still Know What You Did Last Summer

Disney made the movie Frozen so when you googled "Walt Disney frozen", it would show results for the movie instead of the urban legend that Walt Disney cryogenically froze his head

Feels kinda silly to say that rich people from the center to left of things politically can’t build a successful media environment when the onion is doing it basically using donations from semi-employed forum goblins

Yes, I have just done a naked forward roll. But there was a good reason Adrian Chiles

Opinion Homes I've no fewer than 17 wooden spoons. But I have a favourite and I'd miss it for ever if it went missing Adrian Chiles

Celebrating 4/20 in your 20’s vs celebrating 4/20 in your 30’s

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

Please stand by for more.

You ever notice how in the Superman the Movie poster, he's got one fist out, and on Superman II he's got two fists out? Well BUCKLE UP, I gave him three and four fists for Superman III and Superman IV, respectively. Hilarious!

They're cowards for not doing this.

really hoping Bolsonaro pulls through this time

i would really like people to get over the idea that comedy is particularly dangerous to authoritarians. if it was we wouldn't be here.

It's a nice thought, but the evidence ain't there.

We all have days like this

(sees a straight cis couple in any context whatsover) well well well if it isn't

Remembering tungsten lights with a combination of fear, love, and disgust.

every time this site goes down i take up subsistence farming again and every time it turns back on i lose interest and my crops go to shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Frame #4979 from E56 Young Granny

In order to protect our men, we’ve constructed a labyrinth and trapped Jolene inside it

Honoured to ride these roads this morning behind the Joker in his Kia sedan

They sell ANDOR action figures, of course, and of course the audience is 35-50-year-olds, but it's deeply funny to imagine children playing with little Luthen Rael and Saw Gerrera dolls.

CHILD 1: I think violence is not only justified, but demanded
CHILD 2: I agree, but haste could be our undoing

Anyway, we need to go back to bands getting popular the old fashioned way, by taking hostage a radio station with realistic looking squirt guns and winning the heart of a recalcitrant disc jockey who is mad at management and then releasing a number one hit record while in prison for your crime.

Y'all need to get the fuck off Substack.

BRANDON FLOWERS READING TRUTH SOCIAL: he doesn't look a THING like jesus

heartwarming video of astronaut Christina Koch greeting her dog for the first time after returning from space. the pup can be seen snarling, back arched, before scampering to its word buttons and pressing "IMPOSTOR" repeatedly, then "FALSE. SKIN. FALSE. SKIN." several times

@dimsie.bsky.social

the thing about every wavy hair routine is that it requires you to walk around with soaking wet hair full of product for some amount of time. bitch I am already overstimulated and this shit is hitting me in the face

Japanese sci-fi: two robots in space, yearning

American sci-fi: man gets the author's beliefs on polygamy confirmed by the aliens of ramalama IV

french sci-fi: two horny bounty hunters visit the Galaxy of Breasts

British sci-fi: nuclear war. Everyone dead. America's fault

Now here’s a fucken beer

Trump calling the pope "weak on crime" is unfortunately a great bit, but we'll see better as the feud progresses. Trump only really has so many rhetorical moves at this point and is rapidly regressing into fey Broadway insults, but we could see "he's losing his 'look'" and "his 'hat' doesn't play."

I truly don't obsession some guys have with sending dick pics. I've never taken a dick pic in my life, except for the one time it got stuck in a salad spinner and I had to ask r/dickstuckinsaladspinner for help

I love watching old episodes of The Movie Show, you find out about films you never knew existed like a 1991 movie called Stepping Out about a tap school in Buffalo starring LIZA MINNELLI, SHELLEY WINTERS, JULIE WALTERS, ANDREA MARTIN, ELLEN GREENE and JANE KRAKOWSKI