So it’s just this constant back and forth. Wanting to talk, but questioning if there’s even anything there to begin with.

Because I don’t want to keep putting myself out there just to feel unwanted. But at the same time, if I keep waiting for some kind of certainty, I’m just going to stay like this.

And it’s not even about “maybe they’re just waiting too.” It’s more like… do people actually want to talk to me in the first place?

I’m not sure if I’m ready to open myself up and talk to people again. But I know I can’t keep living like this, just waiting for people to come talk to me because nothing’s ever going to start like that.

a cartoon character is playing frisbee in a park with the number 2 on the bottom of the screen ALT: a cartoon character is playing frisbee in a park with the number 2 on the bottom of the screen

It’s my birthday today! 🤷‍♂️

a cartoon character sitting on a couch with his legs crossed ALT: a cartoon character sitting on a couch with his legs crossed

Not because I don’t like people. It’s more that talking to people means I have to face what’s going on in my head, and honestly my thoughts and feelings haven’t been that great lately.

I feel like I need social interaction, any kind really, just to get back on track. But at the same time I don’t want to talk to people.

a white cat is screaming with its mouth open and the words screaming intensifies are visible in the background . ALT: a white cat is screaming with its mouth open and the words screaming intensifies are visible in the background .

LMAO I have no idea if I was being flirted with, or they were simply being friendly.

a man in a yellow jacket is sitting in a chair with his hands in the air and his tongue hanging out . ALT: a man in a yellow jacket is sitting in a chair with his hands in the air and his tongue hanging out .

Still alive but and numb and empty. If anyone wondering.

Part 1. I give. I give. I give. And I give. And all I have is a tiny grain of rice, maybe less, of wanting anything back. At least, that’s the story I tell myself. The lies I tell myself to hide the hollowness, to mute the loneliness that curls around my ribs when no one hands back even a drop of what I poured.

Part 2. I give my heart. Half of it bruised, cut, rotting in shadows, but still. Still beating. Loud. Insistently. Like the world depends on it. And I forget I am part of that world too. I weigh nothing. I give everything. I pour love, support, understanding, care, until cups overflow, until I am empty, dry, thirsting for a sip of the very thing I gave away.

Part 3. And when I’m hurt, I look for loopholes. Excuses. I try to understand why they acted this way. Maybe it’s in their pain, maybe it’s in their story, maybe it’s not about me at all. And still, I collapse under my own weight, the weight of being first, of putting everyone ahead of me, of forgiving too quickly, of loving too deeply. Maybe it’s my DNA to sabotage myself. Or maybe I’m just human and painfully alive.

Part 4. And the truth I swallow every day? I’ve accepted it. This cycle. This emptiness. This norm. My heart, my body, my mind, neglected in service to a world that never asks. And yeah, that’s my story. My reality. My blood on the floor of giving.

The weight of giving.

I’ve been the same person since you met me. I haven’t changed. Maybe I have, because why waste time on someone who isn’t afraid of losing me?

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4.

Rotten to the roots.

Probably because of how much people overhyped them. and people overhype something, USUALLY ITS okay or below average.

don’t know why I hesitated to listen to them. But finally giving them a chance now. Sorry 🤪

a cartoon of spongebob wearing a tie and smiling with his mouth open ALT: a cartoon of spongebob wearing a tie and smiling with his mouth open

New year ? More mental breakdowns 🤪

LMAO. I already got bored of Bluesky too. I’m on TikTok now.

This is still going on ? 😭

Sorry - NF ft James Arthur.

Walking into 2026

2025 Spotify wrapped

🙂

two men are standing next to each other on a sidewalk and one of them is wearing a baseball jersey . ALT: two men are standing next to each other on a sidewalk and one of them is wearing a baseball jersey .

2026 will be another year of me letting people go, whether it’s because they disrespected me or because we just stopped clicking. Either way, the universe can take out the trash for me if it wants.

a man wearing a blue shirt and tie has a badge that says security on it ALT: a man wearing a blue shirt and tie has a badge that says security on it

time to return the same energy I’m given.

⛔️ NSFW ⛔️
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The only air I get is when they lean too far forward or back, when they move just enough to let me breathe again, bouncing against my tongue.

My arms could go numb for all I care. I just want to taste them.

⛔️ NSFW ⛔️
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Having someone sit on my face while my arms are pinned down by their knees sounds pretty good. What’s even better is getting my skull crushed and suffocated by their thighs.

a man with a mustache and a blue shirt is laughing with his mouth open . ALT: a man with a mustache and a blue shirt is laughing with his mouth open .

Why do I even bother, when you’ve shown me multiple times exactly where I stand in your life?

Part 9

Part 10

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Dead plants don’t water themselves.