That is one poor…pour. 🥁

He.. so smmaarrtt. I’ve never ever had an idea on my owwwn.

Oh, and it’s the 25rh anniversary. Thanks Rob and Rob.

I’m pretty sure you have a “little” bit more experience than your classmates. 🙋‍♂️🤔

Yep. You’re good.

Oh..the poor nurse who administered my first barium enema after my injury.
She was gorgeous, and so professional. So embarrassing. 😳

Walks like, talks like…..

I’ve had this same conversation at least a thousand times.

Ah..I don’t know what it is, but of our three, Jax has to fuck up the bread and tortillas. 🤷‍♂️

“You shall not enter.”Until I scurry away.” “And den I retuurn.” 😬

If I had done that in uniform and obviously not masked, I would had been stripped of rank and canned.
I would’ve deserved it.

Every first time manager after a double. 😳 I remember.

Oops, cheat

Yes, obviously I’m a golfer, hence the pic. What @realDonaldTrump did in the videos is an egregious breaking of the rules, but as commander in chea? What else is new. I don’t know, pardon a sex trafficker? @NancyMace , @SpeakerJohnson

OMG It smells, smells so good. Ummmm, smells gooder. 🙋‍♂️🤦‍♂️😬

When I walk into my house, this is what I see. Disconcerting. 😳

I’ll try to convince the wife we can have five. 🤯

You know that saying “come home when the street lights come on.” That was my life. Awesome.

Son of uh…happens all the time. “Sorry”, I can’t fit your baby in a stroller at a table meant for six when your baby makes seven.

You are my soulmate. Respectfully. 🙏

Awesome!

Awesome

Son of ….

If you believe pardoning rioters from Jan 6, 2020, who assaulted police officers, in any way, convicted of seditious conspiracy by juries/pled guilty, weapons charges, trespassing, illegal entry etc etc…GO FUCK YOURSELVES. Treasonous assholes.

a close up of a man 's face with the words american gods on the bottom right ALT: a close up of a man 's face with the words american gods on the bottom right

It’s not every episode, it’s literally every next scene.

HI AMERICA, YEAH, NO. LOVE, CANADA

No matter the chirp, chip, meh, meowuuuu!!! 🐈

We have 3 settings:

When we're not sure if we're in a crisis, we check the price of eggs every 5 minutes.

When it feels like we might be in a crisis, we hoard toilet paper.

When we're actually in a crisis, we listen to conspiracy theorists, ignoring facts and science.

fuuuuccckkked. There I said it.
😅