sarawiley10 9h @ Threads Posting "should I plant mint in ground" in my Facebook gardening group just to feel something

Join The Onion Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.

For fuck's sake, sign up for The Onion, and get a free limited edition IW tote.

A share of merch sales will go to the Sandy Hook families, which will be the first time they get any money since they filed this lawsuit eight years ago.

Legal fees have been insane. Please sign up and help us out!

announcing ILÚVATAR, my multi-billion dollar company which will specialize in the dismantling of all other idiotically tolkien-named entities, that they shalt see that no theme may be played that hath not its uttermost source in me, nor can any alter the music in my despite

A plate 3/4 covered with vegetables, including broccoli, carrots, Brussels sprouts, onion, and zucchini. They have obviously been pan-fried. Also a sausage.

Sheet pan vegetables? Only if you're a coward!

Mine's kinda more niche:

A lot of high ranking Triple AAA Video Game execs around GamerGate, chose to not oppose GamerGate as forcefully, as they saw a lot of feminists and journalists targeted by GamerGate as also pushing for Unionization of workers, so they viewed Gaters as "Enemy of my enemy".

remember how, in the hours and days after the assassinations became public, we were all being told to thank the cops for their fortitude and bravery

This. N95’s can save lives from wildfire smoke. The scientific evidence of the damage caused by Particulate matter is clear and terrifying.

Love bomb them over the next few weeks, as they don’t close until June 6.

This Is Just To Say

I have turned off
the AI features
that were in
the update

and which
you were probably
hoping
to monetize

Fuck you
they were stupid
so unnecessary
and so annoying

InfoWars Let me tell you a story. When I was a child, I suffered from night terrors. It was always the same dream: I could hear my family and neighbors wailing…

Some timeline stuff:
— We expect to get InfoWars.com after the judge clears it in a couple of weeks.
— We'll build a world of characters on the site and across social media. Tim Heidecker is in charge, and we have grand designs.
— Visit theonion.info, buy a subscription, help us dominate the world.

Stacy Mitchell has the best command of this subject. She explains how Amazon's ability to match any discount absolutely shreds competitors trying to give you a lower price. To hide these powers from nosy reporters, Amazon shuts off the magic algorithm during holiday shopping season and Prime Day.

This also solves the problem of water pooling where people are walking and rolling, which can be very dangerous, especially if it freezes and for those with limited mobility.

These are the types of raised/tabled crossings that I want US cities to start building. They're continuous for people walking and biking instead of continuous for drivers (even if they're raised up).

hey quick question, when everyone who works for you hates you so much that they leak your drinking problem to the press, is it a good idea to start a lawsuit that will involve discovery

Fucking hell, MPD. Some fucker cop just turned on their lights and sirens for about two seconds and then went *flying* down a street, really fast, after turning them off. Then turned them back on long enough to blow a red light.

Parenting is peppered with bittersweet moments, times when I'm so happy for our kids but also a bit sad that things are changing. I'm so proud of our son getting a job and moving to another city, but I'm really going to miss having him around.

VERY COOL PERSON: It's four-twenty, you know what that means?

ME: Hell yeah! [starts shoving blackbirds into a pie]

What you were saying @jamesaltonsanders.com.

There is a book called The Half Built Garden that includes a form of anarcho-syndicalism where people organize communities around the watershed they live in and barter with other watersheds to meet one anothers' needs. It's wild.

Wanted to show you this post in English because it’s so good and we truly are a global village

A Minnesota protester threw a snowball. Feds responded with tear gas, pepper balls. • Minnesota Reformer As the toxic haze rose, an agent pepper-sprayed protesters and a news photographer at close range.

“We see use of excessive force after use of excess force". Documentary footage shows agents tear-gasssed and pepper sprayed a crowd in response to a snowball. minnesotareformer.com/2026/04/20/a...

A photo from my morning walk showing bright red, green, and blue flowers & leaves.

RGB

One of the reasons CEOs think LLMs can replace everyone is that an LLM actually can write a pretty convincing email about how Human Resources is now People and Values and how we’re streamlining our operations by making Jim Clungo now report to Dave McWingnut to enable agile transformations.

A picture of a rather dilapidated copy of "The picture of Dorian Gray" There is visible water damage to the cover and the plastic cover is yellowing. Obviously, not evident from the picture but there is a truly foul musty smell emanating from it!

Last week, a gentleman returned this rather dilapidated copy of this famous book to us after 50 years. He had found it in his attic!
Presumably this means there is a pristine copy somewhere in our libraries....

Somewhere Bismarck is looking down in confusion as Germany projects power by sending 4,000 pensioners, 12 buffet stations and a TUI loyalty program through the Strait of Hormuz

Just horrifying to watch once excellent universities voluntarily destroying themselves.

wasn't this the entire point? feel like someone called this a month or so back

Oh noooo

if my macbook requests my age i am slamming the lid shut and installing Asahi Linux, if Asahi Linux requests my age, i am slamming the lid shut and installing Temple OS, if Temple OS asks my age, i am throwing my laptop out the window and hooting and hollering myself into an early grave

A few days ago I watched Ed Zitron say that CEOs need to stop saying AI will destroy jobs if they don’t want people to throw Molotovs at their houses. I’m sure this is completely coincidental