WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

IT'S ABOUT DA METS BAYBEEEEEZ

↩️🗽🕺🏻

The Mets won because Gotham FC, the last professional team to win a championship in NY, tossed out the first pitch

Deal with the devil was worth it!

Ok, after Soto was like, “nah I don’t really talk to my colleagues outside of work,” it would be *hilarious* if, now that he’s back, the Mets just go back to playing like a regular team. Like everyone else was just, “Feel like pure shit just want Juan back x” the whole time

How do you even get going fast enough to crash like that in Davis?

Yeah women and Catholics shouldn't have the franchise but how DARE you dilute the voting power of white rural smallholders

It wasn't the baja blast that killed us, it was the baja radiation

Pic of Gary Cohen looking down his nose, presumably at something appalling on the field. Bottom text: Pathetic

Floor o’clock again? How the time flies!

Matt Damon playing a 14th century French knight that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mullet. Beard. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and cigarette smoke.

Matt Damon while playing Odysseus who also looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Long, skinny beard. Smells like horseshit, pine tar, and perhaps Mediterranean herbs.

Matt Damon playing a 19th century cowboy that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mustache. Shaggy hair. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and definitely chewing tobacco.

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

Apparently Gary Apple’s sweat has cleansing properties equivalent to sage burning. Tmyk!

I can spend 4 days prepping and one day painting, right?

Prepping to paint my room. Going to be fighting for my fucking life against both my perfectionism (it only took me three months to pick a paint color) and these 110-year-old walls.

This was how we lost @thewaroncars.bsky.social

on the one hand, we're apparently big enough to be a valid target now

on the other hand, we're apparently not big enough to actually spend any time on before targeting us because they clearly have not seen this site's takes on the war

I have bonding to rebuild a large part of a broken front tooth. It was supposed to be a temporary repair while I was a child but it lasted like 23 years before breaking off

“Catch the ball and give it to a kid” is propaganda started by Big Kid so adults dont get baseballs

Oscar cat was deeply traumatized by Porch Time today. First, the world’s loudest FedEx truck pulled up and a stranger got out and delivered a package right to us. Then, he had to try to behave nicely while meeting his crush’s mom. And then Basil met him at the door coming in. He may never recover.

The first panel shows a crow with the title "How to live a good life". The second panel shows a crow cawing at itself in the mirror with the subheading "Make friends". The next panel says "Explore" and shows a crow looking into a commercial waste bin. The next says "Try new things" with a crow eating something vile. The next one says "Be curious" and shows the crow grabbing a hissing cat's tail". The final frame says "Get a hobby" and shows the crow looking closely at a book of matches.

How To Live A Good Life #oldknees

Tbf it’s very bappable. I also enjoy bapping the lamp.

Getting a lamp the cat can turn on and off by himself has turned out to be pretty interesting. Sometimes he’s sending a pretty clear message but some of the time I think he just likes bapping the lamp.

Impressive that Toner has time to put this together and also prepare for his trial. Or did he end up deciding to take the pre-trial probation deal after all?

Fake Massachusetts Towns april 19 2021 April 17 2022 4/17/23 4/14/24 4/21/25

Tomorrow is Patriots' Day in Massachusetts, which means it's a good time to roll out this all-timer from our archives.

MICHAEL CONFORTO knocks in the TYING RUN???? This is occult, at this point. Supernatural forces are afoot.

Et tu Scooter?

Totally forgot he was here lol

Best friend, agent, editor, etc. Many people seem to have failed her here, in addition to the obvious

Part of the right's war on education, especially the part that appeals to voters and not Douthatian perverts, is pretty explicitly about limiting kids' horizons and trapping them where they are.

please sir may i just have my butter pecan (global stability of some kind) you are ruining my life

This is the kind of game that if they hadn’t lost 9 in a row I’d be like “eh they can’t all go your way” but they have lost 9 in a row