i know it’s gauche to post screenshots of grindr but this man was catfishing with photos of phillip seymour hoffman and when i asked why he said “idk” and i feel like that’s a perfectly reasonable exchange to share online

Sniffies ad copy

suddenly the koons is me am I right?

joey fatone is doing red lobster ads because he knows i like it. yall are welcome to look, but he is literally doing it for me and me only, so just know that’s what this is

imagine you get mugged and beat up at a gas station at like 3am, this guy rolls up for snicker bar and you’re like “help!” and he’s like “no can do toots, i’m not a cop i just wear this cause it gives me a boner” and you’re bleeding out but you don’t wanna kink shame so you leave him be

it’s like if ryan murphy rebooted pokemon

me seconds before getting fired from selling kitchen knife sets door to door:

me when someone else put up a tarp in the bathroom at dillards outlet and called it a glory hole:

they are standing in solidarity with each other

things i said that got me fired from from the men’s prayer retreat :

it’s funny because geese are known for being dumb and angry for no reason

a strong tan bisexual man with a mustache who tells me loves me, is vers, and will beat up a guy for me if i ask nice

me and the graveyard shift gas station clerk. she doesn’t get mad when i boost the $10 bag of freeze dried sour skittles.

scabies

thumbing thru the feed bluesky thinks i want

um that’s a dog dogs literally can’t even talk wtf liar

me calling the comcast rep a cunt for no reason

I keep having dreams about a building that looks kinda like this in the middle of nowhere but it doesn’t have a steeple or cross or anything. Flat roof, two stories and a thicket of woods out back. Some shit is going on in there but idk what yet

im never fucking deleting facebook

this diva we call fairy god mother keeps giving me mushrooms after midnight when im like an hour left in my set and now it’s 4:20am and im GEEKED

does it work for insults? like if I called somebody ugly and said “but you know that” does it cancel out? because this changes everything

thank you baby sauce! I’m trying to get into the Shirley Manson of it all

dear horny gay guys: please embrace me as your indie pop girl icon. y’all have an incredible range of influence and i’m willing to give yall privacy when you pull your wieners out on the dance floor with each other ✨

in the club we all dolls

also gag, i’m not supposed to post this because it doesn’t come out until five weeks from now, but i love how this turned out. i got majorly irritated by lying on straight up dandelions but it was worth it

hi, my name is bebe, me & my friend jasno made a really solid garage rock record but nobody really gives a fuck until everybody gives a fuck, so if ur reading this ur about to watch me be so very devious & morally gray on the main, but i swear it’ll be cunt like you’ll gag I promise

ok work the whole music industry is fucked, ice cold take, but what if i started spreading fake rumors about myself on the indie level? like what if all the less than 10k girls got together and started really bending ethics of self promotion. fake relationships, self produced hater accounts, etc.

oh hi a place nobody is checking so i can be as weird and cringe as i want , brilliant

Omg!! I’m just now seeing this! ✨✨✨

damn that’s a really long lace