this is one of the best memes of all time

Sure, Rochester can keep his wife in his attic and everyone thinks he's romantic and mysterious. But I make one post about keeping a man in my basement and suddenly I'm on several block lists

Love 2 fight in the top secret fight club, the one that meets regularly and that everyone knows about and goes too socially

I love men, that's why I keep one in my basement

They keep describing her wardrobe as shorts and sneakers and I'm picturing her dressed like Adam Sandler. That's probably not what the author intended, but that's what my brain is doing

I have to give this book credit for the female main character being incredibly average. Sure, she's average in a sea of wealth and looks and talent, but she's not the best at anything and she's not the worst. We love a basic queen

If you do she has to grant you three wishes!

When I was 19 I was also so dumb that I would have believed another 19-year-old was in med school

THREE SETS OF TWINS

It looks like it's so appalling the picture was censored

What we need now more than ever is for the dudes to step up and go outside in tiny bikinis

Sometimes if it's a one-time leak situation like that, the utility company will give you a break on it if you ask nicely

oh my god brand endorsement opportunity for Oscar Mayer!!!

I hate when I have those energies instead of "doing my day job" energy but here we are

Advil PM box art I edited to read Email PM The moon and cloud over the classic advil vanishing point blue gridlines the capsule replaced with a blue envelope and notification bell signifying "1" The box reads: Oh my god it's 10:00pm. Does this person have no life or what's the deal? Below the envelope it reads: Honestly Sad* *Super Sad Actually

Please do so immediately

I see we're doing airport takes today so mine is that like Paul Revere I only recognize travel by land or by sea

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

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Co-worker: That sounds like a "You Problem."
Me: I'm rife with "You Problems."

I got to say it really changed my attitude about office tension because I realized that this was the most interesting I had ever been to anyone and I'm really grateful for that. No one I've ever dated has ever been as interested in me as my work antagonist. Very flattering in a way

I know she did and sometimes I would play into that by doing a makeup/shoe /accessory change or making a fake phone call in her earshot

So I told her I had a second job that I only worked on my lunch break. I wasn't going to restaurants, I had found a high income low effort job and I was going to keep it all to myself. (Playing Pokemon Go in the park while eating a PB sandwich from purse). Not a lie, I got so much Stardust!

Her nosiness was malicious, this wasn't just curiosity. She decided I must be going out to eat everyday because I was making way more than she was and she was telling everyone about my secret high salary. Then one day she snapped at me about why I was earning so much...

I used to work in an office with an extremely nosy person who noted every coming and going so I started leaving to eat lunch everyday, usually just in my own car parked where she couldn't see it. I'd never let her see a lunch bag or say where I was going

Remote is probably best for mental health, but it does sadly remove the possibility of playing fun little games to keep your own sanity

Do you work in office? And do you have to be The Better Professional or are you in a position where you can engage in mild office antagonism?

It would be miserable even with different nickname annotations 😆 It's not exactly a feel-good party book

I was SO confused reading Wuthering Heights for the same reason

Starting to think that between the small related cast of characters, the dueling clans, the cutsey names, the organized crime, and the college rivalries, that God of Malice would be better set in the American South, not England