When political pundits call themselves pundants. That’s nitch.

Whip her cone

A planet photographed from space by people who aren’t me

Definitely flat

A picture of a cat. It says, “4 years ago lived in a bush and hunted my own meals. Now I have 2 passive incomes, my own house, & a personal chef. Follow me for more financial advice.”

#Caturday

What are Mikey’s pronouns?

Apple has told me I’ve been kicking around for so long they don’t need proof of my age. Rude.

Glad you’re having a good day

Correction: 📢 built dad in aisle 7.

It looks very serious

The days when helicopters fell from the sky, killing miseries who’d previously lost stand offs with helicopters. Good times.

I’ll pick you up

My life’s dream has been realised: AI-level wit!

What niches did you delve into?

You flirt

Iconic track

You’ve opened a can, I fear.

A baby blue greetings card on a rack with “I see how hard you try. I’m so proud of all your small, quiet victories” printed on the front.

Burn

I don’t have any of that

What slogan is on your T-shirt?

bluesky is where elder millennials enjoying internet retirement meet younger millennials with untreated depression

Merry Christmas! 🎄 x

You should go to the pub more

The persisting horrors must be over; my LinkedIn review of the year has arrived.

I’m afraid so. I think that means you have to put #nepo on all posts hereafter.

Adam has left the chat.

In my defence, my Jonathan Drambuie got no laughs either.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

When did a good old final become a flouncy finale?

It’s impressive the amount of research you put into plagiarism