Thinking About Chaser Taxonomies One thinks of a chaser as having the placid, unconcerned certainty of Pepe Le Pew, bounding ceaselessly and unidirectionally after someone else’s transsexuality. I’ll be the psychologically complex on...

“Once a man told me while we were having sex that he hadn’t gotten off all day, because he wanted to save it for me. My first reaction to this was ‘And he works from home, so that really counts for something.’”

open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

Thinking About Chaser Taxonomies One thinks of a chaser as having the placid, unconcerned certainty of Pepe Le Pew, bounding ceaselessly and unidirectionally after someone else’s transsexuality. I’ll be the psychologically complex on...

"One thinks of a chaser as having the placid, unconcerned certainty of Pepe Le Pew, bounding ceaselessly and unidirectionally after someone else’s transsexuality."

www.thechatner.com/p/i-dont-kno...

Some Thoughts on "Mikey and Nicky" It's unbelievable, how much milk these two guys drink in the course of a single night. They do a lot of other unbelievable things, too, which is terrific.

it's remarkable, how much milk these two guys manage to put away in the course of a single night in "Mikey and Nicky." and the heads of hair on them, my God

www.thechatner.com/p/some-thoug...

“I've ended friendships with women for switching to natural deodorant; for forgetting to eat lunch and getting too hungry to make a prompt decision about where to get dinner; for taking me to a local production of The Nutcracker out on Long Island and saying afterwards, ‘Wasn't that terrific?’”

My own mother had a very strained relationship with her mother. In retaliation, I had a conspicuously easy and cheerful relationship with my mother’s mother. See how easy this woman is to get along with? Why don’t you do it like this?

Helping and making sure everybody sees you being helpful People will call you tall at 5'8 if you work in senior living. the important thing is to stay humble about it

Once, when I was straining to replace the big wall calendar by the elevator bank: “Look at him, with his long arms!”

Once, carrying two grocery bags from the car into the lobby (each bag containing only a single grocery): “So strong!”

www.thechatner.com/p/people-wil...

he's strangling a diner owner

been rewatching Mikey and Nicky and the thing that's so good is you start out thinking Peter Falk is going to "be the reasonable one" and then 15 minutes in he’s strangling a diner owner for refusing to sell him half-and-half bc Cassavettes medically needs to drink cream

if you pre-order my next book, Meeting New People, from Barnes & Noble this week you can do so at a 25% discount. If you don't, nothing about your life will change, so you're pretty set either way

www.barnesandnoble.com/w/meeting-ne...

if you pre-order my next book, Meeting New People, from Barnes & Noble this week you can do so at a 25% discount. If you don't, nothing about your life will change, so you're pretty set either way

www.barnesandnoble.com/w/meeting-ne...

On "Marty" (Ernest Borgnine, not Supreme) People will sometimes try to recommend Marty in light of the incel movement or the “male loneliness epidemic,” but you can safely ignore that sort of talk.

wrote about Marty (1955, not Supreme) and Ernest Borgnine's astonishing face. He was born to play the Spirit of Christmas Present. He looks like if Edward G. Robinson had been filled with joie de vivre.

www.thechatner.com/p/on-marty-e...

It’s a movie about how the GI Bill provided college degrees, employment, and a home, but forgot to throw a wife into the bargain during a decade that acted like a marriage-producing machine, where your neighbors could lawfully kill and eat you in the streets if you stayed single!

or like if the Skipper from Gilligan's Island were also the Ancient Mariner from The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

On "Marty" (Ernest Borgnine, not Supreme) People will sometimes try to recommend Marty in light of the incel movement or the “male loneliness epidemic,” but you can safely ignore that sort of talk.

wrote about Marty (1955, not Supreme) and Ernest Borgnine's astonishing face. He was born to play the Spirit of Christmas Present. He looks like if Edward G. Robinson had been filled with joie de vivre.

www.thechatner.com/p/on-marty-e...

in 2008 or 09 I got married after an evening of escalating dares to a friend of a friend, just like my hero at the time, GOB from Arrested Development

Being Trans at Christian College, Part II: "Temptation Tuesdays" and Secret Weddings the second part of my chat with Ella Baker

second part of my chat with Ella Baker about our time at Christian college together! we covered my secret joke wedding in 2009 and coming out to your family on Father's Day vs. Thanksgiving:

www.thechatner.com/p/being-tran...

"So I arrived already ashamed of myself and full of anger and contempt for everyone else. And I couldn’t even longboard."

You mentioned Lewis and it reminded me of the strange Anglophilic strain running through certain parts of SoCal evangelicalism. We had a surprising number of classmates who wore Rainbow sandals to class and longboarded everywhere, while also being super into Chesterton and Belloc. Of the major evangelical Christian universities in Southern California – I don’t count Pepperdine because they don’t require faculty or students to sign a statement of faith, besides which their chapel requirement is something laughably low, like fourteen hours a semester

also ended up ranking all the SoCal evangelical colleges along a pious/scholarly axis

Trans at the Evangelical Christian College everybody was riding longboards to chapel but only a few of us got a sex change

had a lovely long chat with Ella Baker, one of the handful of people I went to evangelical Christian college with in LA back in 2005 who also later transitioned

www.thechatner.com/p/trans-at-t...

between Walter Matthau’s face and Walter Matthau’s hair there is a gap of staggering antiquity….

Some Thoughts on Elaine May's "A New Leaf" erectile dysfunction but for killing your wife

Elaine May’s A New Leaf is a perfect movie about getting erectile dysfunction about killing your wife: open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

shit i'm pretty sure i did this in our round table. mea culpa

almost fruitopian

And I think it’s most interesting when the justifications are dropped! What if someone’s interest in a sexual experience, that could not in real life include them, did not: Heal your trauma Help you navigate misogyny Assist in identity formation as a gay trans man Or do any good in your life aside from being you pleasure Wouldn’t it be fun to find out? It seems like people often want to introduce virtue into this conversation, like “As a woman, you ought to be more interested in f/f. Only once you have finished the broccoli of lesbianism may you enjoy the bread pudding of fake faggotry.”

“the broccoli of lesbianism versus the bread pudding of fake faggotry”

open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

the cuck chair, the goon cave, the fujoshi futon; the most comfortable seat for spoiled desire!

Return to Pervert Ethnography Island: The Cuckold, The Gooner, The Fujoshi A round table on virtuous gooning and erotic realism

"Gooning and fujoing out are both about losing yourself in an obsession with something you can’t have. The porn stars, the beautiful gay guys. And it’s not a drawback that they can’t have it. It’s the point."

open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

if I could give my younger self any advice it would be to take my time starting to save for retirement. everyone tells you to start early. that's a lot of pressure. wait until you're ready

Cassius Only Has One Suggestion For Everything I’ve been rereading Julius Caesar this week in a fit of nostalgia. Two things have struck me on this go-round which did not always stick out to me before:

For all Cassius’ reputation for being a conniving, subtle, behind-the-scenes manipulator, his number-one go-to strategy for trying to get people on side is to mention how willing he is to die right now
www.thechatner.com/p/cassius-on...

Seth, hello! Yes, I want to find ways of writing about sex that do not merely describe "things other people do; I happened to be in the room also, normally." It's tricky!

absolutely unreal episode