Woman, black hair, blue eyes, black clothing, seated and looking at the camera

What’s on your #metal playlist today? I’m in one of those moods where I just put on Katatonia’s complete discography because I need the feels.

🎧 #Katatonia #Music #ProgressiveMetal #DoomMetal #MetalMusic #Love #Life

No kidding! They're probably mad they can't pull it off. President Obama looks like a GQ model in a tan suit. McConnell looks like he wrestled a rabid raccoon in a dumpster for that suit.

I think about that suit a lot more than I should.

A different hair color is perfectly acceptable, though. 😉

Have you met some of these Boomers?

A whole head? That sounds like my type of cooking! 😉

That feels like it could be a dangerous amount, depending on the person. 💀

There's not enough aloe in the world to help with this burn.

Un immense livre en train d’être brûlé par des petits personnages avec marqué « I hope everyone realizes that scrubbing historical references from web sites is no different than burning books »

Good Night World

If you don't use enough garlic that it kills a couple vampires stalking around the neighborhood, did you really use any garlic?

I wish I was blissfully unaware of this new definition, but I looked it up because I just HAD to know. Thanks, Satan. Thanks a lot.

THIS. 💀

Sometimes going to bed at 9 pm after a cup of chamomile is wild enough. 🙃

I figured it was a normal outage, but I’m going to be honest, with everything going on, my mind started making up some wild scenarios. 😕

I’m pretty sure it was crack.

Thank you! 💛

Oh my gosh! That’s amazing!

This is hysterical! I’d also like to add: That man is not running errands. That’s a task only the womenfolk can do. That also cuts into his drinking time. Can’t have that. 🙃

Whatever you do, don’t go into your bathroom say, “Sarah Palin” in the mirror 3 times, and turn out the light. 👹

Thanks. I just spit out my drink laughing. 🙃

They said 1999 was peak civilization in The Matrix. It was laughed off. But they were right. 😭

Peter Steele with his arms crossed. The text says, “Every time I read a vampire romance, the MMC looks like Peter Steele in my head.”

Is it really a #vampireromance without a #PeterSteele look-a-like? 🧛

#RIP always

#typeonegative #romance #paranormalromance #darkromance #gothic #metal

Meme. A shirtless man, back toward the camera, walking through a field of corn, arms brushing the plants. In the middle, it says, "He's a 10, but he doesn't know the drum break to "In the Air Tonight." 😭"

Sorry, bro. Phil comes first. 😁

#hesa10but #philcollins #intheairtonight #humor #funny

I’m getting the aloe out for that burn. 🔥

I just spit out my drink. Thanks. 💀

Nope. I know what happens when the feet come out from under the covers. Under the bed monsters get you.

Here's a little tune I wrote called "Stop screaming my name during sex, Jessica" [jesus playing the guitar]

Young woman with black hair and blue eyes in a white, lace shirt with necklace. A torso and up shot with a white background.

For those of you who dodged family obligations like me, what are you doing today? I’m going to write something disturbing yet sexy and listen to In Flames. 🖤🧡💛🤍

With rusty tools