Uh— hm. Ive been sitting on a website update for a few months now and im kind of torn on whether i wanna keep sitting on it til after june or just go ahead and update it pre-emptively

Coding….. is hard

At this point I’ve barreled past turning into the Joker, this administration is gonna turn me into AM.

Call your reps!!

5calls.org

At this point i just kind of like having my patreon, itchio, & website most of all? I still need to do some code for my site and i have a lot to post (waiting to have some cleaned) but like yeah idk. Im in some discords, got some feeds in my feed reader, maybe i’ll just go into the woods after this

Welp. Apparently my tumblr is gone. I was just checking on it bc of all (gestures at site). I didnt use it that much and im not surprised but i mean thats just another notch in the like. Might be done w social media after this one, idk

If you missed the live event, the recording of this talk is now available publicly on YouTube! Check it out here:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEbq...

staying up thinking about mothxflame again

My favorite worlds are the ones where the state of the world is still kind of hotly debated bc that feels real. There’s a kind of tangibility to the idea that the world telling itself to you is doing so in A Way for A Reason & its up to you/charas to see if that’s really true, like thats the fantasy

Smth i think fantasy as a genre kind of struggles with is the idea that like our understanding of historical pantheons is kind of like edited in post. Im not smart enough to fully articulate the effects of this but it results in this kind of unreality? Which idk i like worlds that feel real or sound

Like i dont like having no answers to things but i also hate having Definitive answers to things in fantasy. Like the problem with making god Real as it were, is that now there’s a certainty that life just doesnt have. It also kind of opens up the floor to action figure smashing when u have multiple

*GAEBOLG, my bad. Anyways play soul of sovereignty, it does this

Theres a fun story in here abt the warping of text over centuries which ragnarok even kind of capitalizes with the whole curse of geabolg questline, like i wish more stories would play into the archeology & anthropology angles of fantasy than the reality of pantheons n such.

Thinking back on this is also so weird like what if you had a christian schism between ppl who’d wanna worship jesus or mary magdalene but also the ppl in the latter camp hail her as the harbinger of the end of the world. Its not an exact allegory but its like? Idk its fun? Im still thinking abt it

anyways, im not the first person to be like 'fantasy has a religion problem' like this is pretty old news. Unforchies its something i think about frequently bc im the kind of person who picks healer classes first out of any given selection unless there's a clown or a dancer available

Tree of Savior has a similar problem but like.... somehow more abstracted bc the jobs r just jobs but you, the player, is actually kinda like 1 of 50k jesuses but you're not worshipped or anything, you're just like a greek-style hero who helps out the actual goddesses who are actually worshipped.

This one (RO) was kinda a lost cause bc the convo started w the need for a healer class designated as cleric and there's not a lot helping that
maybe this is actually the exotification of white people religions where its like 'applies catholic structure to your norse gods and goes like Close Enough'

Like Im not even trying to be like this kind of shit could Never happen so much as its like... different religious and organizational structures exist? Idk maybe a good place to start is the pantheon and religion/its values/relationship to power? What does it offer ppl even like why believe in it?

tbf i dont know the origins of these kinds of fantasy instincts, it boggles my mind, esp when games/media try to just kind of do christian/catholic aesthetics But We Worship Odin Actually when its like no. this? no... these are like different structures and vibes, i dont think they'd evolve that way

ACTUALLY this gets at something that bothers me in fantasy in general which is this fascination with.. basically the organization of catholicism and a linking of that idea of a parallel sacred society with the idea of a cleric so you get some kind of like... mercenary missionary? organization? odd

listen i just think having your Very Catholic Coded Priest Class And Organization just be like 'oh no, we worship Odin actually' is kinda.... especially when you're like 'the neighboring region's apostate church also??? has a pope & a vatican?? but their problem is that they worship freya'

Priest girl being very in the closet abt how badly she wants to touch dancer boob

It got worse

Some more ragnarok inspired lesbians since im still sick (i say inspired bc im changing outfits & lore like *a little*)

but also the problem with space nun is that it's a like... toxic-yuri-to-well-adjusted-person pipeline which isn't really like toxic yuri vn jam material? it's kinda just A Thing I'm Doing. Which brings it down to BB or franken and like hoooo that's hard

It'd either be Bara/Botan, Franken/Stein, or the Space Nun and the decision is wholly dependent on which idea fully coheres into a moveable vision first tbQh. I'm not quite sure I have an est bc while franken is the most cohered on concept/narrative, the other two are easier to visualize as a VN

Thinking About Entering Toxic Yuri Jam With My FrankenGal But How Many People Have Done That Already Like…

About Me: Video Games grid that's like 4 rows by 5 columns Row 1 - Favorite: Rainworld, Best Story: Night in the Woods, Fave Art: Odin Sphere, Biggest Personal Impact: Odin Sphere, Best Combat: Muramasa Row 2 - Overhated: Tree of Savior (its just mid you guys, its not the like antichrist of mmos), Underrated: Look Outside, Overrated: Sky, Needs a Remake: Viva Piñata, Criminally Overlooked: Little Goody Two Shoes, Row 3 - Favorite Protag: Deltarune, Favorite Antag: Inscryption, Best OST: Super Mario 3D World, Best Multiplayer: Splatoon 2, Not usually my thing, but: Cuphead Row 4 - Turn my brain off: Animal Crossing New Horizons, Best with Friends: Ragnarok Online, Best Retro: Yoshi's Island, Nostalgic Childhood: Summon Night Swordcraft Story 2, Game everyone Should Play: Soul of Sovereignty

About Me: Video Games grid that's like 4 rows by 5 columns Row 1 - Fave Story: Kentucky Route Zero, Fave Art: Odin Sphere, THE Favorite: Rain World, Fave OST: Donut County, Fave Gameplay: Overland Row 2 - Fave Protag: Deltarune, Fave Antag: decided to be the most obtuse and pick Playdead's Inside, THE fave character: ENA Dream BBQ, Fave World: Rain World, Fave Concept: Look Outside Row 3 - Criminally Overlooked: Little Goody Two Shoes, Needs a Remake: Muramasa Rebirth (give me the PORT), Sunk Most Time Into: Rhythm Heaven, Better with Friends: Splatoon 3, Nostalgic or Comfort Game: Yoshi's Island Row 4 - Wish I Had More Of: World of Horror, Not Usually my thing, but: Summon Night Swordcraft Story 1 (im kind of growing out of RPGs in general but this series has a soft spot for me), Biggest Personal Impact: Odin Sphere, Cant Stop Thinking About: Vennineth, Game everyone Should Play: Soul of Sovereignty

i did that 'about me: games' chart since im still sick, but also did a custom one bc i really struggled with overrated/hated due 2 Shrimply not caring about other people's opinions. Since I did two I also took the opportunity to share some topics like 'fave ost' bc i uh... i like too many vgm osts

I am still sick BUT. My dog is Less sick thank god

Im really sick tosay AND my dog was also sick, help

collecting cards of my ro ocs and putting them on my equipment

anyone wanna do horny ragnarok oc art with me, i hav e like 7 gals

when we say that censorship is coming for everyone, we mean *everyone*