Image 1970s ad for an Easter egg: Authentic Easter Eggs (Blood-Sacrifice Easter Egg) Contents: 1. Traditional chocolate Jesus egg; 8 chocolate thorns; 1 sachet of holy blood; 1 mild emetic* *Brings the contents back after 3 days

True #Easter egg.

It's Glastonbury time again...

The government's policy on speeding.

A public information message concerning Nazis.

You may have heard about 'mothers' and 'birth', but do you know what they are? Here's a handy guide.

A thread of publications that have been banned in Scarfolk.

God hates you. You may have already sensed this instinctively, but please accept this message as official confirmation of His loathing.

This is an emergency public information announcement from Scarfolk Council.

Mr Liver Head toy (Scartoys, mid-1970s)

The tragedy of a child with mush-face.

1 in 3 children whose parents permit them to attend a school or unsanctioned coven go on to develop chronic mush-face.

Reading can cause mush face

Warning: 1 in 666 people are afflicted with chronic mush-face after reading prohibited books.

Reading may cause mush face.

Warning: Reading can be dangerous.

Best kind of reading content.

The final series of Surrender Hope begins this evening.

For younger viewers, there's another episode of The Magic Justice Tree at 5:62pm.

Fairground Accident Finals live from Blackpool will be broadcast at the slightly later time of 8:61pm...

Normal programming will resume shortly...