holy shit

I have both Garrett Crochet and Jordan Romano on my fantasy team and they combined for a 70.20 ERA today and dropped me from first to fifth place.

The 37-year-old author, forlorn, holding his infant son while wearing a brand new pair of eyeglasses he never needed until now. In a mall.

You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses, would ya? A glasses guy holding a baby!?

3yo had a pen mark on his face and I asked “What’s this on your face?” and he said “That’s just how my face looks like sometimes”.

Struggling with your AI prompts? Try Death! Death is the revolutionary new AI tool that eliminates all the pain of constructing your AI prompts and everything else in your life as well.

If anyone wants to keep up with Tyler Reddick this year, they’re simply going to have to try being woke

holy shit

Tony Tony Chopper never appears on lists of Greatest Canadians and that’s an embarrassing oversight

Oh shit, the 23XI cars must be dialed to sweep the front and also get Riley starting in Row 7.

Hope the live action One Piece goes on long enough for Minoru Suzuki to play himself

Hate to brag but I hit 3 before noon today

Dave Shumka had a tweet that has been completely forgotten but I think about a lot that was, and this is probably word for word:

Set fire to the rain? That’s your dumbest idea yet Adele.

They said a like 10 year collector’s edition had maybe 12 full page illustrations and that’s it. Nothing really like what I was looking for.

Hayden Birdsong? More like… more like Needin Tommyjohng

Update on this:

Garbage Truck by Sex Bob-Omb
Peaches by The Presidents of the United States of America
Christmas in Prison by John Prine

The Redwall subreddit was both helpful and condescending and a little mean about this.

Rick’s looking at Daniel Dye for the 48

Does anyone know what version of Redwall has the most illustrations, but not the graphic novel. I know a 30th anniversary edish is coming out later this year but I want to read it with my toddler.

Took a pause on my Dad reading to finish reading The Hobbit with my 3 year old. Strongly recommend the version illustrated by Jemima Catlin. He loved it.

a lot of so-called “male feminists” talk a big game for International Women’s Day but not one of them learned how to use a pad because they were bleeding from their dickhole after they wildly cronched their shit skateboarding in their 30s, like me. like an ally.

reading a Times of India article that summarizes a discussion from the latest episode of Door Bumper Clear. thank you AI.

holy shit

I simply cannot believe it.

I cannot recommend showing your kids old cartoons enough. My son goes fucking NUTS for Tom & Jerry and Looney Tunes and shit.

[watching my toddler demolish his first mcgriddle, wiping a tear from my cheek] ahh no buddy, i’m just happy.

Fuck you

Condemn the unprovoked slaughter of children you fucking coward

My family made all its money in idioms. You know that expression “It takes money to make money”? Well for my great grandfather it takes “It takes money to make money” to make money.

AI ads cannot stop using Golden Hour lighting for these fake talking heads. It’s really funny.