I love to tell the story of the parish I visited where I watched people at coffee hour huddle in a corner and essentially draw straws for who would have to say hello to me. Or the place with the usher who asked, "Can I help you?" when I walked in.
Person: So what’s the music like at the 8 am service?
Me:…It’s basically John Cage’s 4’33 on an endless loop 💁♂️
I have never left early in protest from a service, but I have sat through a lot of cringe in order to be polite. Back when I was a layman church-shopping, or a seminarian looking for a field placement, I usually knew within 2-3 minutes whether I'd ever return. No one won me over at the end.
Next he’s gonna be like, “With liberty and justice for all…who put this crap in here?”
He’s so FOLKSY, I love this journey for him
People on the internet are wild. Some of y’all need a time out and a cookie.
There are 300+ golf courses in Arizona
Ye Holy Angels Bright
O Love, that wilt not let me go
Lo! He comes with clouds descending*
(*It’s just wrong that a hymn that good can only be sung once a year. My mourners will thank me. Also, being so profoundly eschatological, it fits.)
He’s not Romanian and he doesn’t like the UN
2 Kings 9:20
At least set me up with DoorDash, failson
JAWS.
Julian: All shall be well.
Francis: You’re overdressed.
Eckhart: You’re overthinking.
Hildegard: I wrote you a song
Teresa of Avila: You’re beloved, not special
Catherine: Picture yourself being crushed by a giant ship
My mother: You could have done better
*chef’s kiss*
If the last thing I hear is the knock-knock joke about the blind man and the nun in the tub, I will rest in peace.
Gonna go with Dawn French in her persona as the Vicar of Dibley. I will not anoint her as the Easter Bunny, but it would ease my passing if she praised my cooking.
These people who write recipes and say things like “Prep time: 30 mins” clearly do not factor in space to sing along and dance to Beyoncé, Gaga, et al, while you chop.
The good news is that our country has not been taken over by evil masterminds 😒
As a classically trained singer I get very excited about IPA, thank you
"catechetic stupidity" -- that's a phrase!
I will die on the hill that “The English Patient” is the most insufferable movie of all time.
Maybe should not have let the cats watch “Weapons.”
It’s not just me?!
Yes, all those years I lived in NY and got funny looks when I said Oregon only has 2.5 syllables and doesn’t begin with the vowel Ahr
Rowan Williams said Christianity is always spoken with a local accent
Those bangs really work for her.
Senator Warren, I am a longtime admirer. The comments here are 🔥, your post is not. Alas.
Oh for fuck's sake
He sounds like he gargled with rock salt and bleach