I feel like I’m in okay shape as long as I don’t look in a mirror or wear pants or sit down, ever.

Don't just stand there, help me. This molehill isn't going to make a mountain out of itself.

All cookies are "bite size" if you believe in yourself.

I want to be reincarnated as a cat and slap the shit out of everyone

🤣🤣 that's MY kinda sex tape!!

You think there's a market for that?? It seems a little out there! I guess for the kinkier connoisseur...

We'll have an unlimited selection of performance enhancers, ibuprofen and vitamins to hand.

🤣🤣

🤣🤣 I knew I hadn't seen him over here! You're probably right, when I DMd him he had no idea what Bluesky was.

My sex tape is just me, looking for my glasses in fast motion to the Benny Hill theme tune, only to find them on my head in the end scene.

Awww, thanks, Nick!

🤣 why is she not here?? Someone needs to bring her over... I'll give her my next code

The achey joints cult???

🤣 not even close to being true, Andre!

YES!!!!!!!!! Over 40s Sex Cult is the new must have subscription!!!

🤣🤣 I feel like you're on to something!

Kinda want to join a sex cult ... but I'm over 40 so I think I've missed my shot.

me: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

my brain: except for you

me: except for me :)

Me saying "ugh, could you not" but I'm talking about myself existing