i mean, obv this too💅

ahh! i forgot i wasn’t supposed to update you ppl unless my horoscope said to 😔

i prob already ruined things somehow

facts

according to my horoscope i will fall for a hottie work colleague today…

so do i just start applying for office jobs w hotties or how does this work?

i’m very bad at this so far

a horoscope saying id be attracted to someone at work

omg! @twosense.bsky.social is psychic 😱🔮✨

forget horoscopes!YOU tell me what to do!

(side note: this would be awesome horoscope news if i were seeing anyone other than my cats today)

hmmm… maybe i can check multiple and pick the one i like best

which i guess is work tho

exactly 😕

tried that… didn’t work… clearly im asking the wrong questions too

gonna start checking my horoscope bc making my own choices isn’t working

will update… if it says to

😯❤️🐿️

a squirrel climbs up a tree in front of a house on fire Alt: me (not a squirrel) in front of a house on fire bc im bad at stealing pistachios… hence why i need helpers

if you steal me pistachios, i can pay you up to 23 pistachios per week, more for big scores

(just as a backup, if you like)

if he’s my age or older, there’s a chance he doesn’t even know how to see who viewed his stories

or that’s possibly just me bc that whole app layout confuses me… but hopefully 🤗

a close up of a brown surface with a lot of small stones on it . Alt: a close up of a brown surface with a lot of small stones on it and a meerkat

nice✨

this is very important 😌

probably, yes

a close up of a man 's face with a blurred background and a very serious look on his face . Alt: a close up ofpoltergeist ii bad guy ghost mouthing let me in bc he want to take over siege

😱 NO, SIEGE! NOOOOO!!!!

only sometimes, clearly i didn’t scroll bsky enough before i started

gotta scroll before AND after is the rules

such a range of skills 😱

*impressed noises*

i have them

shh 🤫

😯

ty, beautiful! 🤗❤️

an orange cat is sitting on a blue couch and looking at the camera . Alt: an orange cat is sitting on a blue couch and looking at the camera .

blerry is an orange cat actually, but also furry, and equally bitey

facts 💅✨

welcome 🤗✨

we also accept horses

a close up of a squirrel eating a nut with the words viralhog written below it Alt: a close up of me (not a squirrel) eating a nut with the words viralhog written below it

yes… a single pistachio or a castle… or a mini trampoline… or an oolong milk tea… or TWO CASTLES!

hey gurl i see u drinking from the goblet of shadows

you prob just ate something really bad, so hopefully you’ll feel better once it’s out of you… like the dad in poltergeist ii 🤗

a stuffed animal with glow in the dark sticks in its mouth Alt: muppet (eagle) with glow in the dark sticks at a rave

my brain is a crazy place 🤗

I can't talk about it. James Bond kind of stuff.