it's really just a matter of changing my mindset. i've been missing out on so much life because i feel like i have to be this idealized version of myself in order to even deserve to be happy. i just need to listen to my body and soul for once instead of stripping away everything that makes me human

doing that thing again where i'm thinking of just loving myself and focusing on health instead of beauty... wonder how long it's gonna last this time

i'm not here to be negative, but damn is it hard not to be negative rn

I feel so inadequate. I think I'm just gonna start fasting again. I don't know what I was thinking.

day 16

I'm feeling a lot more energetic and even confident? crazy what exercise and a (mostly) clean diet will do for you. right now I'm just working on staying in my calorie deficit and staying consistent with my daily walks. here's to more good days!

down 1 lb this morning (⁠ʘ⁠ᴗ⁠ʘ⁠✿⁠)

hot girl walk of the day concluded 💅

went on a walk with hubby after work. I really didn't want to but this weight ain't gonna lose itself ┐⁠(⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠￣⁠)⁠┌

I'm going to be walking on the treadmill every single day, no exceptions. I am allowed one rest day per week. my goal is to walk at least 3 miles per day which takes about an hour depending on pace. gotta lose all the weight I gained back QUICK

been obsessed with VS lately and I've been binge watching all of the fashion shows. ✨ manifesting ✨

tried jogging today and got the worst mile time of my life 😭

just snacked on some snap peas that I grew myself ☺️🌿 I didn't harvest much (like 6 or 7 pods) but they were so crunchy and sweet I love them

day 9

I'm still slightly sick, but my energy levels keep rising each day. Now I need to focus on planning out my meals and sticking to a schedule. I think (I hope) this is what I need. I find that if I don't have at least some semblance of a meal plan then I end up overeating.

I have a little treadmill that I need to use more often. I really only use it on my days off for 40 to 60 min walk sesh and then go about my day. I wish my job allowed for an actual lunch break 😭 we just chill whenever we get the chance

most of my job is just standing in the same spot for hours and I dont live in the city so I don't really have an excuse to walk anywhere either. After work I usually walk up and down my stretch of road which is about 2 miles. I only average between 5k and 7k steps a day 😞

how tf do some of you guys get like 20,000 steps a day

Anyway, rant over. Trying not to stew in what others think of me because their opinions don't mean shit, but also this is just super unfair and idk if I should do something or not. Really tempted to get these mfs fired

All these bitches are just that. Bitches. I've worked so fucking hard to get to where I am today and this is the thanks I get? Are you kidding? They throw me in the middle of everything not knowing WTF is going on and get mad when I mess up. What sense does that make? Maybe show me what's up first?

it's like this though; I've only been at this job for 2 months and everything I have learned is no thanks to them. I trained my damn self. Yeah, I still have room for improvement, but the only way I'm going to improve is by working in places I need to improve in, which they don't allow me to

found out all my coworkers think I suck at my job today 🥲

day 2

i'm sick, but my breakfast kept me full all throughout work. i didn't think about food even once! i was a little antsy before dinner though and had a snack that put me a bit over my limit, but progress is progress.

wasn't that bad actually...

got like 5 hours of sleep because the rain woke me up and I have to work with the owners of the business I work for. today is gonna suck ass I just know it.

I really couldn't tell you if I had more energy today because I have a sinus infection and I'm on my p e r i o d

gonna try and focus on having multiple small meals a day instead of just one huge one at the end of the day because I always end up over eating. I'm really hoping I'll have more energy and motivation and try to be more active.

Intermittent fasting is just not it anymore. I've gained 11 lbs in the past 2 months and I've been doing IF the whole time. ngl it worked like magic for a little while but a lot in my life has changed lately and it's just not working anymore.

just had ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 𝓫𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓯𝓪𝓼𝓽 ⋆˙⟡ for the first time in literal months

day 1 of trying to eat like a 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭 person

My rules:
-don't skip breakfast
-drink at least 5 glasses of water throughout the day (~91 oz)
-meals should not exceed 600 calories
-no eating past 7 pm

*key word is 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘺

i hate my face. and my body. and my psyche. i think i just hate myself.

yeah I hardly ever see it 😭