Happy January 6th to those who celebrate. If you’re not stealing valor from those cowards who are now trying to pin it on the FBI & Antifa, what are you even doing with your life?

The least energetic Austrailian Shepard ever just crossed the street in front of me. That’s somehow very depressing.

I really wish the person in the car next to me would have seen me light the sleeve of my jacket on fire to burn off loose threads.

New support of the unifying theory that everyone is twelve: no one who lives 20 miles outside the city can survive without hearing modern country music on the radio in any public setting. For sure my bud! You’re twelve! Hearing weird music is weird!

No but for real though. Fuck people who squirt ketchup onto individual fries.

Now that Parker Posey is doing Hyundai commercials can we at long last end the pretense that Generation X have maintained their hip countercultural edge into the AARP years?

The bridge of “Swamp Thing” is only 6 bars. We were robbed.

Due to overwhelming positive feedback, Taco Bell iced its Y2K Decades menu within 30 days. Incredible.

Someone needs to talk me down because I’m fast becoming convinced that Mexican food in Washington is just a psyop now.

What the Fischerspooner version of “The 15th” ignores is that the drums absolutely make that song.

Luke warm take: baseball would be 13% more popular among the youth if they rebranded the Error count as the Cringe count.

I finally get it…Eddie Vedder and Benjamin Bratt are slowly morphing into the same person.

Hey, same but it happens

Yeah and it’s a term lobbed against both sides of the Zionist debate. Again, I’m not sure that the OP was taking any of this into context, so that was my entire intent.

And that’s it. Loomer is a white nationalist, but her presence at the White House isn’t in itself indicative of anti-semitism. Now, if we want to discuss that Zionism needs anti-semitism to thrive then, sure, but I am not sure that’s what the OP was getting at.

Laura Loomer is Jewish

I resisted telling the kids fundraising for ASPCA that pets are a sinkhole of money and sadness when I walked past them and they tried to get money out of me. I am growing.

Elder Millenial breaking the speed limit while screaming along to AFI. This is the default generational position.

I like how I’ve spent the last two days talking about how when a problematic person like Ozzy dies, maybe we don’t need to pile on them for things that if they truly mattered we should have confronted them about in life. And then Hulk Hogan dies immediately after and challenges that entire premise.

The 405 is such a cringe freeway. Oh you’re gonna sit in traffic for an hour to go from Bellevue to Renton? And there’s endless construction to add more lanes like it’ll help?? Grow up.

Rahm Emanuel II: RAHM

A lot of friends have had children in the past year or two. Question: do y’all sing “You’re A Grand Ole Flag” to your kids to calm them down/put them to bed? If not, why not?

So. Tankies are really just conservatives who decided to take extra steps to backdoor their worldview? Which is that everything should suck? Bummer.

There has to be a person out there who is secretly craving the approval of a cook at a Mongolian Grill. Like nothing would validate their existence more than handing them their bowl and the cook nodding and saying “great choices!”. Imagine how lonely that must feel.

Yeah its Riot Grrl, sorry

See the mummies wanna stay
For your meal
Get another mystical journey
For the wife
E’rrybody wanna see
How it feels
Even though Jesus Christ
Is a lie

BEHOLD. My 20th birthday.

Thinking about starting a mediocre emo band with too many members and calling it The World Sucks Ass And Death Terrifies Me.

“No. Wait. Stop. Come back.”