I just heard “Patience” for the first time and my boyfriend thought I was pranking him. It got me into some trouble with a number of my friends. I am fully 40.

Kind of a direct threat, I think

Charles Manson mug shot. His eyes are wild; his brows are bushy

“No Parking Anytime” sign in which the image of a car being towed by a truck look like Charles Manson’s eyes and brows

It’s why you only need 3 shells

Happens to the worst of us

No, literally. The people decided. I’m the best.

✌️✌️

I Like To Watch | Gman Tavern Wednesday, March 18 WYNK Seltzer welcomes…I Like To WatchMovie Trivia Night (featuring Mischief!) * Hosted by Jessi Meliza Free with RSVP / 21 & Over / Door: 7pm / Event: 7:30pm-9:30pm

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I’m in this TWICE

Havin’ a suffer

I once slowed down for a squirrel on a side street, and my teacher angrily asked, “Well, would you slow down for a cougar?!” And I was like, “probably?!”

The Subconscious Art of Graffiti Removal (HD) The Subconscious Art of Graffiti Removal is a short experimental documentary that examines the unexpected artistic merits of graffiti removal efforts. The film makes…

The Subconscious Art of Graffiti Removal
vimeo.com/368367

Sexy and exciting resolutions like “go to the eye doctor”

The turkey lives in my heart, but I like basically every sandwich there

Debbie Downer take: be careful where you grow kale, because it sucks up environmental lead like a Dyson

Otherwise, 100% on board for cold cuts on sandwiches.

Automatic disqualification because it doesn’t have a club AND uses roast turkey, but J.T.’s Genuine subs off of Elston & Irving Park is doing god-tier work in the sandwich space. Put it in your pocket for a separate mission.

This has got to be about Jeopardy

Genuine tragedy that Special Forces beat out Stars on Mars as the celebrities-do-a-vaguely-governmental-mission show

It’s nice of them to cover up my personal, mortifying smells of human life

Image of a jug of cleaning product with a picture of a calico cat and a golden retriever. The text says: Oreck No Return Spot Remover

Unfortunately, the plot of Homeward Bound 3 has been revealed. Spot isn’t making it back this time

Me when I see the train start to fill up on the way to Wrigley Field: God damn it
Me when anyone talks about going to a Cubs game: Take the red line! It’s perfect and good to go directly to the park

The only reason I don’t have a tea kettle is that every previous roommate I’ve had came with a kettle, and I simply haven’t gotten around to getting one when I have a stovetop model that works OK

Eumir Deodato version of Also Sprach Zarathustra in Being There

This beats my 10am viewing of Basket Case at my dad’s house today by a pretty good margin

Huffington Post

every news story about Mr Beast that I read is further proof of what makes Jackass work: gleeful self-destruction needs community and desire to operate.

Important to note that this is more than just Parker Posey and/or Alan Cumming. Tonally, the flow is impeccable

Feel this full in my bones

(I’ve never seen The Godfather, and I’m playing around with the idea of never watching it as a bit to myself alone)