you just had to take a stab at grand dad greg

who’s next? could be me, could be any of us

who’s to say at this point

the only thing jeremy renner was truly good at was finding a way to run himself over with his own snow plow

probably the one thing you can count on with baseball, there’ll always be guys with a lot of junk hitting balls kinda far

*alreadies

sweet dreams fur friend

Pick your 5th Ninja Turtle:

Jerry

a black and white cat laying on a bed with a white blanket ALT: a black and white cat laying on a bed with a white blanket

that moment where dog is too tired to move and you can just grab them skin flaps at the back of their neck and use them as a stress ball

Canadian here, try not voting a complete idiot in as president

hope it helps

so where do you clip your toenails without causing a diplomatic incident

Jesus

Once bought liver to try a new recipe and the fucking 18 yo bag dude was like “if you need to try that hard to make anything taste good maybe you just shouldn’t eat it”

i think about that exchange every time i consider making another liver recipe

kid lives rent free in my head, good for him

🤗

being an uncle is kind of cool

you can just step in to your young adult nephew’s life for a quick phone call to give a bit of advice

(which he gladly takes as gospel, because cool uncle & stuff - and you’re neither his mom or dad)

then go right back to your tv show

you got this nephew hopefully

two men are standing next to each other in front of a building with soldiers standing in the background . ALT: two men are standing next to each other in front of a building with soldiers standing in the background .

I was gonna say the bruins will bag this one but I’d forgotten for a sec that the only thing i root for in these playoffs is maximum chaos

tv show idea: a white kid gets seed money from his rich dad to finance a promising startup made of a diverse cast

he then claims all the credit and becomes a billionaire

everyone says he’s a genius

rags to riches basically

Me trying to be normal:

My children are growing up to be beautiful. 🐾 💙

suck it Wednesday

your honor, she used soap to clean the cast iron pan, if it’s not ground for divorce what is?

initial reports are that it was real tasty

new burger sauce a bit saltier/smokier than expected (no regrets)

there were concerns about the meat being a tad pink

everyone is very relaxed at the moment

we’ll see how long the relief lasts but early indications are it’ll be at least a few hours

Still a pretty decent burger

Your honor, i get it, but in my defense:

would be a perfect weather for it, shame mine died and i haven’t replaced it yet

cast iron skillet will have to do

guess i’ll go walk the dog about it

weather’s nice, so at least there’s that

life of a independent worker:

- producer’s wife is sick so he’ll be out for a few

- lawyer can’t write up the contract because he’s tied up with bigger things

- IT guy is on a semi vacation in thailand so it’s hard to get you access to the project

come on man, let me catch a break

not quite the same but lightly fried fish filets dusted with gluten free flour might to the trick?

Whenever bsky got spotty i checked the downdetector homepage and a bunch of sites showed the exact same patterns: start time, intensity and duration

it wasn’t a bsky thing, it was across the board

see for yourself if it happens again

it really is; i don’t have a whole lot planned this weekend but i’ll be making a large batch of spaghetti sauce and a lasagna

about 6 hours; relaxing music, glass of whiskey, im set

eating home made comfort food is good for the soul

Mo snuggling up to his dad on the couch because mom is gone for the day

lil dude is always a bit bummed out when mom goes to work at the office so i get an armrest and a very chill dog to hang out with