University education provides massive social value and should be regarded as a public service in my humble opinion.

What a bizarre position for a Labour chancellor to take.

*Cilla Black noises*

People in the '60s:

Tried to pay for my order by tapping the little buzzer thing they give you and now I can never return to this establishment

"I'm sorry, I voted for yOuRSelF [insert name]"

Not replying to all in a departmental email chain challenge (impossible)

Me in the winter

Garmin: "good morning! ☺️...

You're the worst person in the world"

AHH

Baby screeching, man behind coughing out a lung, an overflowing smell of pickled onion crisps, an old woman having an incredibly irritating phonecall, and a toddler absolutely desperate for (and not getting) any attention.

a black and white monkey yawning while sitting in the grass ALT: a black and white monkey yawning while sitting in the grass

Sure I sit next to this guy every time I book the quiet carriage on any train journey.

I don't think death by firing squad is an unreasonable punishment for those who use "ourselves" and "yourselves"

A generous pinch of grated Leo

Nothing worse than a recipe telling you to add subjective measurements.

"Add a large spring of thyme"

.... Just tell me how many bloody grams! I can't make these decisions.

*stares at the price of a Boots meal deal*

"If only we joined the third Reich"

Choose the greatest British television moment (there are only 2)

Badminton at this hour on a Saturday is preferable to the historically standard hangover.

The nonce, formerly known as Prince?

God forbid anything at all happens

Happy autumn to all who celebrate

I work closely with a number of synagogues. Many have introduced a fee for security on all bookings. Events in Manchester today highlight exactly why.

It's been clear for years that the Jewish community is vulnerable. We really need to do more as a society to fucking stamp out antisemitism

It's pretty astonishing how blatantly Israel are committing genocide. Like they've comprehensively ticked off each of the 10 stages already.

In other news, freshly deposited shit steams on winter pavement.

*leaves house*

Monzo: you've spent £4,678,521.98 today

Hello to our castle

Party 1: this would be good

Party 2: that would be bad!

....

Party 2: this would be good

Party 1: that would be bad!

*Repeat forever*

👀

Hi it's me

I'll have a shot of orange please