I watch too much tv to ever be successful on a Jury Duty/Company Retreat type show. I’d recognize everyone immediately.

Thank you WhatsApp for offering to summarize a message reading ‘Hi’ I couldn’t do it without you

I live 3 hours from Memphis and frequent the city, and anytime someone here’s I’m going they try to deter me, but Memphis is great! The city, the people, the food: it’s always treated me well. Memphis I will always love you.

And if you are clamoring for this might I suggest getting a life, learning a trade, touching grass

This is the technology they think we’re clamoring for

I agree. We gave our boy his own steak for his birthday last week

How can I trust TurboTax with my money when I can’t even trust them to write a decent commercial jingle.

But also maybe don’t smoke idk

Sitting in a Parisian cafe where half of a couple is smoking a cigarette and the other a vape, and it was jarring seeing how stupid vapes look and how cool cigarettes do

Two of the pyramids of Giza

Looking into it

Icecapades spotting arriving to mid city Huntsville

My beautiful #CHamoru treasures straight from Guåhan

Honestly? Idgaf.

More people contacting me about this Hawks trade than did on my birthday

Finally attended my first in-person hawks win. Thank you Belinelli and Italia for the emotional support

I am pure of heart and will do my man’s choreo justice 🙏

It’s time to take matters into my own hands and write the Billy Squier jukebox musical myself

We officially in my birthday month let’s get it 4 days until the big day

a close up of a woman 's lips with a kiss mark on it . Alt: GIF close up of a woman’s lipsticked pucker kissing a glass wall

Happy New Year from me to your tonsils

Nods in agreement 🙂‍↕️*

*unless the Hawks win the cup one year then I’ll be the streets popping bottles

I wonder how he dealt with having that surname

Checking out my high school’s notable alumni 🫠

Also my birthday is 5 weeks from today what better time to send me money

Where’s my cyber Monday deal on rent

I’ve been called baby and mama my whole life, but I call someone daddy, and all of a sudden I’m the weird one? Get serious.

I love when people who know you’ve been borderline suicidal your whole life find ways to tip you over the edge and feign ignorance.