Doctor to patient: "Try to reduce your stress level, and if you somehow succeed please let me know how in God's name you did it."

I thought this felt relatable

"Your translations to our languages is really impressive," the linguist said. "Are there any particular concepts that are extra hard?"

"Normal," the alien envoy said.

"That's very culturally dependent."

"Yes, but there is also a vast difference between our observations and your perceptions."

What I really needed right now was a giant omniscient machine intelligence second-guessing me.

I couldn’t let that one go. I turned and gave him my best skeptical stare. Surprisingly, it worked.

Well, this was just great.

midlife by Claire Taylor I wish I could go back hold that girl in my arms & tell her sing your off-key songs the world is deaf to the pleasures of women no one's listening anyway

41 today. Woohoo.

If you’d like to help me celebrate, consider getting a copy of my book, or if you’ve read it and liked it, recommend it to a friend, or request a copy through your library. Or just go out and be kind today and try to enjoy your Monday.

www.publishinggenius.com/catalog/apri...

I wasn’t annoyed at all. Not one bit.

☎️🕵‍♀️💄🔍

teaaaa

🐁☁️🎈💕

A comic-book panel. Beak sits naked in a nearly-empty tank of fluid, saying, "I’m totally naked, self-conscious and crazy in the head… please… I deserve pants as a basic human right.”

We've all been there, buddy.

The Free Speech Coalition is serious about starting an adult industry credit union. Part of this is being able to show regulators that enough people would use it, so please fill out this form if you're interested!
(Yes, credit unions can issue credit cards!)
www.freespeechcoalition.com/survey

My wife asked me to repost this in case some folks missed it.

She is de-stashing her treasure hoard of yarn. There's a lot of it. It's kinda taken over the house. I'm in the attic of the garage right now. Help?

www.etsy.com/shop/Destash...

Overconfident humans who don’t listen to anybody else scare the hell out of me.

A larger tuxedo cat lounges across the top two tiers of a cat tower. His front paws and head are on the higher platform and the rest of him is on the lower platform.

He seem to have fallen asleep as his head is down.

Definitely asleep. Paws are starting to spill out and you can see toe beans.

This huge cat has managed to curl himself tightly into a ball that fits neatly on the top most platform. His head is upside down and covered by a paw.

I just adopted this big guy two months ago, meet Loki.

I think he’s got a large breed in his heritage somewhere. He’s already head butted my boob to wake me up and demand marathon(30 min) cuddles a couple times now. This is him curling up to sleep on our old cat tower. (We got him a bigger one.)

SEIZE JOY FROM THE JAWS OF PAIN. HAVE YOU HAD ENOUGH WATER TODAY?

"That creepy guy is here again," my boss hissed.

I looked to the pinball machine in corner. A lanky man in overalls and a soft hat was playing.

"You're making a fortune from the old coins he's using. But I'll have a word."

Later, I told my boss the guy worked as a ferryman. Why'd he get so pale?

Also, you may have noticed, I don’t care.

I’d rather have nice safe emotions about shows on the entertainment media; having them about things real-life humans said and did just led to stupid decisions.

so fucking do it then

I sighed again. I was having a lot of opportunities to do it and I think I was getting good at it.

A post from: amber.sultes 7h When small minded "pastors" talk about taking away the right for women to vote and you see a room full of smart, capable women overseeing Artemis's mission to orbit the moon, you realize how irrelevant these podcaster theobros are. There is a woman orbiting space right now without their permission, which no one needs to ask for. Keep on.

With alt text:

not a SINGLE goddamn ONE

That whole thing was cool af.

The entire Artemis mission has been cool af.

Abolish ICE and give the money to NASA

map of hre overlaid with pictures of myself and jonn. subtitle reads "weird borders and the holy roman empire"

Do you like defenestrations? Weird German ducal families where EVERYONE is called Heinrich? Are you Swedish and like interfering in religious conflicts?

The week on Untitled History Podcast, @jonnelledge.bsky.social and I talk about the Holy Roman Empire. #history cms.megaphone.fm/channel/the-...

(It was still a stupid thing to do, but I understood the impulse. I understood it a lot.)

Nobody fucking listens to me.

Of The Empire We will be known as a culture that feared death and adored power, that tried to vanquish insecurity for the few and cared little for the penury of the many. We will be known as a culture that taught and rewarded the amassing of things, that spoke little if at all about the quality of life for people (other people), for dogs, for rivers. All the world, in our eyes, they will say, was a commodity. And they will say that this structure was held together politically, which it was, and they will say also that our politics was no more than an apparatus to accommodate the feelings of the heart, and that the heart, in those days, was small, and hard, and full of meanness. - Mary Oliver

God this poem is haunting me again.

just to be clear, everyone, when 8 pm EDT comes and goes, regardless of what does or does not happen, the president still threatened genocide and war crimes and we should still impeach, arrest, and try him