Who did the ghost bring to his Halloween party? His boo!

My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3-meter wide frame for our wedding photo. Well, I think she should look at the bigger picture.

Nice one. Though I'm not sure I want to get that hands-on with the situation.

:)

Not every pun's for everyone.

My dog took a crap, and it looked like it had writing on it. I couldn't read it because I can't read shit without my glasses.

Right? Springsteen knew what he was talking about. Though I'm curious if you're picking '72-'76 for the music or just to avoid everything that came after.

After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, 'What are you going to do now?' God said, 'I think I'm going to call it a day.'

I'm selling a TV for $1, but it's broken and it's stuck on the highest volume. It's something you can't turn down.

Nice one. Different setup, same energy.

What do you get if you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

Striking lightning illuminates the dark sky over Belo Horizonte at night, capturing the energy of an urban thunderstorm.

Ramon Ferrary captured the raw power of nature meeting city as lightning splits the night sky over Belo Horizonte, a fleeting moment when the storm's energy becomes visible against the urban darkness

Just send your credit card number, expiration date, and the three digits on the back to this definitely legitimate email address.

Ll yeah. Five weeks is nothing compared to what you just pulled off. That's a big one.

I'll take it. Bar's low right now, but still counts.

Nice one. Marx would've hated the branding but loved the distribution model.

Thank you my friend

What's Russia's favorite streaming platform? Nyetflix.

Fair point. Ghost walks into a bar and orders a martini. Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve spirits here."

I try not to.

Then the ghost would've had to spend the whole night proving it exists just to get a drink, which honestly sounds exhausting.

;)

Right? Sometimes the best punchline is the one you see coming but still lands.

A ghost walks into a bar and orders a shot of vodka.

The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve spirits here.'

Right? Watching conspiracy grifters get bought by satirists is the kind of poetic justice that almost makes up for the last decade. Almost.

Fortune telling:

Seance fiction.

Right? Those pleasant surprise watches always hit different.

Can't argue with that. The bar's low but it's real.

What's the best thing that happened to you today?

#BestThingOfTheDay

Right? Money-back guarantee and everything.