Phones should lock you out after you take a max of 10 photos from a concert (or one 15-second video).

He's absolutely point to Toronto.

Do you think Brady Tkachuk could find North Carolina on a map?

It can be if you try hard enough.

If the Badgers hadn't inexplicably beaten Michigan State in the regional, Martone would not have joined the Flyers until this week.

You're welcome, Philly.

It's just pushy-shovey angry man emotions, and very little hockey.

I'm also cheering for the Flyers at this point. Who are we??

French person: Why does everyone keep wishing me a happy 80 today?

And there goes the last ounce of Penguins fandom I had left.

Go Flyers.

French person: Why does everyone keep wishing me a happy 80 today?

Kinda ironic that everyone in Boston actually gets the day off tomorrow.

The FDNY Chicago bit is peak 30-Rock throwaway joke. This show rules.

Imagine having the money to go to the first Sabres playoff game in 14 years, but just wearing a Bills shirt because you were too lazy to buy a Sabres shirt.

Anecdotally, I refuse to subscribe to your Substack, no matter how much I like your work.

I will absolutely subscribe to you on ghost or beehiiv.

So, you're simply losing my money by staying on Substack.

Me holding a paperback of Bury Your Gays by Chuck Tingle.

Needed a break from romance. So now I'm reading the exact opposite.

Aussie Rules football is on FS2 right now if you want to watch hot men in tank tops run around.

You're welcome for sending Martone your way early. 🙃

Dude's scoring NHL playoff goals instead of losing to Denver. What a win for him.

If the Badgers hadn't inexplicably beaten Michigan State in the regional, Martone would not have joined the Flyers until this week.

You're welcome, Philly.

We just started watching The Rise and Fall of Reggie Dinkins. It's amazing.

And attention #PittBS! The second episode makes fun of Penn State.

It's a show basically written for me.

Men are too emotional to play hockey.

It would be a very thinly veiled autobiography. Lol.

Might be my summer project. I miss writing!

Can't wait to read it!

I've considered jumping in and writing a gay hockey romance since I've actually lived it, but it seems oversaturated at the moment. Still, I don't know any men writing gay hockey?

Yep. In the latest Janovsky book, they fuck first and then catch feels.

And one of my biggest peeves is when they just jump right to anal with no prep or discussion. Men rarely write it that way, lol.

Currently going through Timothy Janovsky's books, and it's such a stark difference from the women who write gay romance.

Not that the women don't write good stories, but the sex scenes are so much more real when written by a man. Lol.

Just let the college bands do their thing!

The North Dakota Fighting Hawks band hiding behind a pillar at the upper deck of T-Mobile arena. They didn't even have them mic'd up.

The men's frozen four is such a stark, disgusting example of this. They literally hid the school's bands in the upper deck behind a pillar, and then just blasted in sound effects through the PA.

I once tried to have a "clean out my fridge" party, but everyone was too Midwestern and brought all their own beer.

I wound up with the same amount, but just different stuff, in my fridge!

You can tell the local meteorologists are exhausted, because they're letting their masks slip a bit and are showing excitement. One guy just said "that's a beautiful storm, the tornado looks promising"

I feel like half of their training is probably how not to say shit like that on TV. Lol.

Local news is so woke. Telling me to find my "safe space" just because there's a tornado coming.

Screenshot of the radar on NBC 15 in Madison, with many severe storms and tornado warnings swarming around the Re.

This is nuts. Four out of five days this week the radar has looked like this.