they got the Church of England supporting the Pope now

IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL

Picture of a luscious cat with caption: stop using chatgpt i can also give you misinformation and i'm beautiful

spotted on the office door of my student assistants

screencap of a tweet with a photo at the bottom of JD Vance giving a talk, gesturing smugly with his hands Eric Daugherty • @EricLDaugh • 1h • JD VANCE RESPONDS TO POPE LEO: "When the Pope says that God is never on the side of those who wield the sword - there is more than a THOUSAND year tradition of Just war Theory." "In the same way that it's important for the vice president of the United States to be careful when I talk about matters of public policy, I think it's very, very important for the pope to be careful when he talks about matters of theology." "And I think that one of these issues here is that there has been - if you're going to opine on matters of theology, you've got to be careful, you've got to make sure it's anchored in the truth, and that's one of the things that I try to do, and it's certainly something I would expect from the clergy, whether they're Catholic or Protestant."

I’ve given this a great deal of thought, trying to come up with the perfect joke for this moment, and this is what I have so far -

POPE LEO: our religion teaches that this war is bad

VANCE: wow, who died and made YOU head of the Catholic Church??

POPE LEO: well, you should know, you were there

If my supervisor could manage not to misgender me in my official evaluations, that would be SWELL. 🙃

Me @ me: my dude, it is TUESDAY. You canNOT be this done with the week already.

Me @ me: …but what if I CAN, actually?

BREAKING: Following the American threat of an “Avignon Papacy,” Robert Kennedy has begun a Diet of Worms

I’ve been thinking about this guy almost daily for ten fucking years. essentially my entire 30’s. when he finally croaks I imagine I’ll let out a sigh so deep it realigns my fucking spine

Ways to get there:

- 25A (by far hardest, useless)
- Straight impeachment (H. majority + 2/3 S.)
- Fund nothing until he's gone (fewest votes needed, just a willing majority in either house, but takes the longest)
- Congress declares him 14AS3 disqualified (simple majorities)
- uhh... [redacted]

God, isn’t that the best feeling? Like, oh, I was RIGHT, it DIDN’T have to be like this…and now it won’t!!!! Congratulations on your much-deserved victory!

(And, uh. Sorry about the…everything else.)

The Moon: oh wow you guys decided to come back

Artemis II crew: earth’s haunted

A drawing of my tabby cat, Otter, done in rough digital pencil lines over flat areas of gray and cream with white highlights and details in blunt lines. He is sitting in profile to the left with his head turned to look directly at the viewer with his normal cryptic expression. Chunky orange lettering surrounding him above and below reads ‘Maybe it will happen today’.

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me.

It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

Illustration of a giant rat with a crown, surrounded by smaller rats. The text "I am the BIG RAT" is above while "that makes all of THE RULES" is below.

I AM THE BIG RAT THAT MAKES ALL OF THE RULES

so scary!! so cool!!!!!!

…but I don’t WANT to.

Oh hey, I am once again going to talk about lack of distress tolerance, specifically for shame, and how it ties together AI, the “male loneliness epidemic,” Trumpism, and yes, people’s indignation that anyone might think they’re a bad person for continuing to buy Harry Potter merch.

Right?? And with this person in particular, there’s a lack of urgency that is VERY distressing to me. Like, even if you’re right about past practice, you’re saying that your past practice doesn’t align with what the superintendent is telling people! That is a problem!

And, like. This is complicated! I get it! But also, it is genuinely so fucking easy to look up the contract language and get things right.

Not to mention that THIS IS YOUR JOB!!! You handle parental leave for the entire district! How are you getting a very basic provision wrong????

Me @ HR: hey, quick question, what the fuck?

HR: oopsie-doodles! The start date is wrong.

Me: …the end date is also wrong?

HR: no, bc [contradicts both the contract and what the head of HR has told me]

Me: …right, okay, but [contract language], and also [letter from the head of HR]

So *I* had to explain that, actually, no, she only gets 8 weeks, not 12, and she has to use sick time to be paid. Okay. Fine.

She makes the request, we get to work on hiring a replacement.

Hire letter for the replacement went out today…with the wrong dates. Like, UTTERLY wrong.

I am genuinely and sincerely going to lose my MIND today.

A new hire on my team is pregnant. Great! Due in April. She talked with HR a few weeks back about how much leave she could take - they COMPLETELY misrepresented it to her & made it seem like she got way more leave than she did.

A digital illustration based on stuff from the video game Disco Elysium. In the center is Lt. Harry DuBois (who the player controls in the game). He’s a big guy with a thinning-on-top mullet and big muttonchops. He’s wearing a white satin shirt, disco-ass green suede jacket, and a horrible necktie. He’s giving a wink and a grin to the viewer while throwing up double finger guns. He’s either hungover or drunk or on drugs or all of these. Peeking out from behind Harry attempting to interject into whatever Harry’s up to is his partner, Kim Kitsuragi, an Asian man with large glasses and short hair wearing an orange bomber jacket. The background is nighttime dark shades of purple and blue with swirls of color around Harry’s head. The foreground is an expanse of concrete on which letters have been written in heavy fuel oil and set alight. They read ‘Maybe it will happen today’.

look at this baby beaver and feel better briefly

(@ wildheartrescue on TT)

We are responsible for the Minneapolis DFL chair learning what a gundam is today and I think that’s something to celebrate. Thank you to @danielsuitor.com for creating an educational opportunity for many at the SD62 convention.

A digital homage/ripoff of Magritte’s painting ‘The Treachery of Images’. An image of a brown and black tobacco pipe with a curved stem sits isolated on a plain tan field. Below the pipe in black cursive handwriting is the phrase ‘Peut-être que cela arrivera aujourd'hui’ which I sincerely hope is an adequate French translation of ‘Maybe it will happen today’

Let me take that for you. No, kiddo, you don’t have to carry anything, you go right ahead and I’ll just make a couple of trips. Get in the house where it’s warm. It’s not that heavy. I can get it. This is dirty, you don’t want to touch it. I’ll wrestle with it, if you could just get me a towel? Let me drop you off, it’s raining pretty hard. I’ll go get the car. It’s not that cold. Sure, I can help you. Three flights of stairs isn’t that much. You don’t have to take the shuttle, I’ll pick you up. Four a.m. isn’t that early. It’ll give me a good start on the rest of the day. It’ll be nice to have your company. Let me drive. You worked all day. I’ll get this check. No, no, you can get the next one. Did I say that last time? You can leave the tip, how about that. Just tell me what you want to do whenever you decide. Last minute is okay. See if any of the other things you’d rather do work out, and if not it’ll be nice to see you. I don’t mind, I want you to have what you want. Don’t worry about that, I’ll take care of it. Let me make a few calls for you. Hold on, I have the number right here. Did you want me to go with you? I’d be happy to; it’s no trouble at all. Sure, I have time. I always have time for you. Here’s an extra twenty bucks. Pay me back when you can. I don’t want you driving around with no cash at all. Are you cold? Take my coat. No, it’s not bad out. Here, I have an extra sweatshirt in the car. Go ahead and take the last of it. I’m not that hungry today. Call me any time, day or night. I just want you to understand that I’m here for whatever you need. Yup, I can give you directions. Sure, I have stamps. No, baby, that was great, just let me hold you know. Let me run out, it’ll just take a second. I’ll be back before you know it, and then you won’t have to wait until morning. Sure, I’ll look at it right now. It’s no trouble. Sure, I can wait. Just let me know when you’re ready, we can go. Sure, I’ll come over and bring my tools.

hey. "your faithful servant" from butch is a noun by s bear bergman

Rafa WTF is the new Montoya por favor

Colloquial phrase updated for modern usage

Truly the IRL equivalent of somebody texting you “OMG” and then seeing the “[friend] is typing” indicator for MINUTES on end.